A Winter's Night

It was the first time in my life, where i took my sleeping pills and it didnt work.

so i wondered all night, why i havent fall in to my pillow and let it do its duty for me. I sigh, i rolled over, left to right, upside down. The pill didnt kick in. Its probably cause the pain in me was much too big for it to heal itself like it was able to do before. 

The feeling that i had when i hugged you felt like the time i hugged hugged my family when i'm departing from them leaving for overseas. I was leaving alone. 

It hurts so bad, i was crying inside and out in the aircraft the stewardess had to attend to me and back to her kitchen back and forth. I didnt meant to be such a troublesome but i just couldnt control it any longer.

I wonder if fate knows what its doing right now, wether its the right thing or not. Maybe we'll meet again somehow after a few years or even the next second. Or forever we wont. Though of that thought, every moment that i have been through will never leave my memory as i shall lock it up in me and may the sea swallow its key.

and i do regret that i didnt realise it before, we could have so much time for us. Yes, i was a fool. Blinded by dreams and nightmares. 

i have learnt to love you more than ever. And i'm glad that i finally know what love is all about eventhough i am just at the beginning of that knowledge chapter.