A Winter's Night

It was the first time in my life, where i took my sleeping pills and it didnt work.

so i wondered all night, why i havent fall in to my pillow and let it do its duty for me. I sigh, i rolled over, left to right, upside down. The pill didnt kick in. Its probably cause the pain in me was much too big for it to heal itself like it was able to do before. 

The feeling that i had when i hugged you felt like the time i hugged hugged my family when i'm departing from them leaving for overseas. I was leaving alone. 

It hurts so bad, i was crying inside and out in the aircraft the stewardess had to attend to me and back to her kitchen back and forth. I didnt meant to be such a troublesome but i just couldnt control it any longer.

I wonder if fate knows what its doing right now, wether its the right thing or not. Maybe we'll meet again somehow after a few years or even the next second. Or forever we wont. Though of that thought, every moment that i have been through will never leave my memory as i shall lock it up in me and may the sea swallow its key.

and i do regret that i didnt realise it before, we could have so much time for us. Yes, i was a fool. Blinded by dreams and nightmares. 

i have learnt to love you more than ever. And i'm glad that i finally know what love is all about eventhough i am just at the beginning of that knowledge chapter.

the last show, we all proudly gave it all we had in us. yES, WE DIDNT MIND THE HASTLE OF QUICK CHANGING! MIC HANDLING! KAK SABRINA's voice. WE're in love with it all. Mr wong!! haha. That's just Brian.

At the last dance, behind curtains, me and the dancers were like 'GUYS!! our LAST DANCE!!' giggling away back there, til the music starts..


Curtain call, i rushed for my boa' and feather fan and suddenly this thing in my eye wanted to come out of place! i was fan'ning myself like crazy and holding my head up to get it back in. Stupid thing!

And yes, i could at least make it for my turn during the bows and all.. WHEN then they started giving flowers.. and my brother was holding a big flower bouquet like whoa kinda big and so i though it was for the elders but he was coming to my direction *like what are you doing??* and my brother hugged me, gave me the flower and POOSH!! eVERYTHING THAT I HELD IN CAME OUT. GREAT!. oh well, i got too emotional. i was laughing and crying like crazy nonstop. Mad woman got loose.

Everyone hugged me and said we're still meeting up, but yeah, the show has ended.

So i went and hug everyone else, then my last hug backstage was the best and the worse. Thats when the real tear came out. The tear that was meant for the moment. The reason that will keep me crying for the next decades. Everything must have its end? No please dont.

I couldnt face the last hug'er in the end, cause i was despising the real fact. I hold on to my teardrop necklace, will never let go. i kept on touching it on my neck, now even.
OH now, dont cry.

brian : hahahahahahha! love that guy!
aidil : such a nice guy, can you believe he diets!
Peter : generous of smiles!
Tria : i love you crazy woman!
Soon Yoon : puppy dog
Radhi : Prema Donna, haha. fagin face got me distracted!
Doreen : sweeeeeeeeeeet
Aris : best dancer marn
Nicole : she couldnt find me to give the bread. haha

and all children dancers and singers as well as actors. i'm totally in love with you all. Every bit of ur smiles, every lame jokes, every crap conversations. You guys has made another world in me.

I will never forget you

sho girl

Best Times

i was talking to my father, asked him alot of question til it seems like an interview but he just kept answering so i went on.

I started asking about his favourite food, and the best places in KL to go for

feast and all and at some point i asked him what was the

best times in his life. He answered fast like it was a reflex act

"When I married your mother".

Then i told him about mother's best times in her life

that i asked her few days ago. She said

"When i was pregnant, the way papa had treated me

i felt like a princess, its very comforting how he argued that he wanted

to do all the chores for me and anything that i want he had granted".

So after that, father kept going on talking about the times he watched the

baby came out of mother, where he said "This is ONE moment in life, men MUST NEVER

MISS" he said it was very magical and beautiful how it all was. And he never missed the 5 of my other siblings when they came out but unfortunately he missed mine. He waited for me to come out for almost 2 days with no food and drink, he even missed Friday prayers cause he wanted to

wait for me yet i didnt come out yet after the prayers finshed. Then finally,

he had to get something to eat so he went to a nearest cafe to have a munch

before he faints. Its funny how he described how he ate so fast

like a barbarian. Then he rushed back up to the surgery room and found

Dr Idris panting away and shocked to found my father running towards him.

"Where have you been??! I've been calling you like crazy over the hospital sound system!

Can you imagine that? I've never done that before! But anyway, theyre both safe,

and you guys got yourselves a girl. Congratulations."

My dad was so happy. His FIRST GIRL was me after three boys. But he too regretted for missing watching me came out.

I told my dad that it was okay and theres probably something behind all that has happened.

My father really is something else. He is the best man living on earth .

As i recall back all the memories, i really wish for myself to get old like my parents. Theyre so in love and still is going on so strong.

My best times? When I finally know i have found my Edward of course ;)

Sangobion

What on earth is Sangobion? Is it a name? A place? A new discovered animal or a stone?

Meet SANGOBION, the new member of my drug family. It says that it is anti-constipated,

helps to increase haemoglobin levels, yeah yeah and what nots.

Mom bought this latest drug cause she said i really needed it.

The box says its for paller looking people, lost of appetite, dizziness, and sudden increase

of heartbeats. That damaged am i?

Well maybe.

The ol' drug family

In the mornings, my beloved Appeton teengrow, my cherished Cetrizine(i forgot what it does),

my baby Ascorbic Acid with its sweet citrus flavour(i think its Vit C, i like to make it stay

on my tounge longer than any other meds due to its taste), my goldie Scotts Emulsion capsules,

and stingy Beconase Nasal Spray(i hate this one, it stings).

And by nights, oh-so-lovely Tripolodine. The hero that helps me breathe while i sleep. though it has a bitter taste. It makes me sleepy real good like i've done a marathon.

Sometimes i feel useless cause these drugs that helps me

with my daily actions.

Without them, i might still be sickbedded

in the hospital wing.

Happiness Screams

every burden has left its owner
Now i'll just have to save all my prayer
For the days that we'll be together
I will stay with you forever

I'm sorry for the times that i blamed you
I'm sorry for all the accuses that wasnt true
I will make it up to you
So i'm giving all my trust all for you

The best that i've been through so far
Was my times with you
Every words that came from those jewel lips
Savour me like another life to my soul

When fear came drowning
i couldnt breathe a decade
But as you touch me for only once
Felt like you jabbed me with confidence
alive i am back again

And when the hall was dark
Darker than night by the park
As my favourite song was playing
You held my hand
Then and there all your sins to me i had forgiven
Even if there was none.

i love you so much
More than that has been described.

Our Promise

'Hey puppy face! I want to sit beside you in play class okay?'
'Sure Dillon'.

It was a Saturday, and Dillon was excited, again, for sharing play doughs with me in the next class. I have known Dee since two years ago, back when we were still play mates every evening of everyday. Then together we entered kindergarten here, Ave Garden, the best place on earth. Dillon was a very weird boy, though he was very helpful to me. He always told me it was alright and not to cry when my mom forgotten to pick me up because she will pick me up eventually. He had always told me and reminded me everyday that i was very pretty and that was one of the reason my mom will not forget to pick me up because i was her prettiest daughter. Well, that was Dillon. The reason i kept on smiling.

Then came the last year of kindergarten school and we had to go our seperate ways. The Ave Garden held up a farewell party for everybody. As popular as i am for a girl who would always smile, it was my first time i never did. I didnt care if i'm not going to see my teachers again, those shape shifting play doughs or the best of every nap hour. I just felt terrible of the fact that i'm not going to see Dillon anymore or for a long time at least.

'Oh cheer up now, Amy. I'm only moving to Brisbane.'said Dillon making a funny face but i didnt laugh to it.

'Dee, where are we?'
'Ave Garden school in New York' he said proudly
'And where are you moving to again?'
'Uhh, hmm.. Brisbane, Australia' he nodded and straight away understood my point. 'Oh come on, you could always fly on an aeroplane to see me there. Besides, i think i deserve a goodbye from you, atleast a smile will do.'he smiled wide and wanted me to copy him. I gathered every happy moments in my life and push away the sad parts and fight off for a smile. Dillon smiled back and suddenly frowned as though something was not right about the smile i was pouring to him. He picked up a whipped cream cake and smashed them at my lips.

'Now you really are a puppy face!'
'Dillon! i'm going to get you, beware of your terror coming to you, Mr Booboo!' I shouted and he chuckled away and ran with me chasing him.
'Mr Booboo? When on earth i am Mr Booboo?'said Dillon still giggling.
'Since the first day i met you and you were crying because you lost your toy soldier figure!' I laughed. Dillon's face turned red because everyone paused at us and laughed at the remark i made about Dillon. He turned and chased me and we ran all the way until we stopped just outside the school by the sidewalk and catched our breaths.

'Fine, I'm Mr Booboo, but you're still my puppy face.' said Dillon strictly.
'Yours? You're puppy face?' I questioned.
'Yes, mine and no one else's. Got that lil missy?' he folded his arms smirked.
'Oh man, for how long?'
'Until we're old and wrinkly and you've grown to be my dog face.' Dillon laughed.
'Eeew!'
'I know.' Dillon agreed.

Then there was a long pause in between our chatterbox mouths. We were staring at each other and a tear fell down my cheeks again. But this time, instead of throwing embarassing words at me, Dillon wiped the tear off my face and kissed my cheeks. For the first time, i felt a weird feeling i couldnt describe at the time and i blushed, madly.

'I'm going to miss you, Amy. So much maybe i'll starve myself and surprisingly avoid butter cookies.' Dillon finally said and managed a smile to me. Butter cookies was his all time favourite. I told him likewise that i'll miss him too. We hugged for a few minutes which felt like only a second. We wrote our promises that we will meet again and a secret we wanted to tell to eachother into a piece of tissue and kept them in a box which can only be opened in 15 years from now in the middle month of July which was the last date we met and buried it by the sidewalk of Ave Garden. Then we cried through out our goodbyes.

Been up all night staring at you  Wondering what's on your mind  I've been this way with so many before but this feels like the first time  You want the sunrise to go back to bed and I want to make you laugh 

I don’t want us to fall apart today or ever

You're the one who'd say you'd never leave

There's no good reason for giving up And all this mess is just bad luck So, please don't loose your confidence in me

Thorn

i've been having 'those' days 

where my heart jumps out of place

and the world tones the volume low

just so to match my sorrow

i've been wasting my tears

cant seem to dig out the spears

that was buried in me for years

and most of all realising you were faking it all

you laughed when i fall

its joy to you 

when everyone turns to me just to say adieu.

though i must say

you acted very well in this play

you give your all to me on stage

the truth you'd like to stab me right through backstage

you love the spotlight do you now?

i felt fooled

fooled so much i'm out of ideas to live on

might a being such as i ends itself

let hopes go blind and live with what has left.

Dear Friend

i hate it when you think that i dont need you anymore
i hate it when he's around around and you never look at me
its like i dont exist
what kind of a human are you
to care for me so much at first
and totally ignore me the next
do you really think my life is okay
you're stupid, my life turned upside down since you walked away

You're in under animal ranked,
Even my cat hugs me with its fur all around
always there when i'm down
But you just stand away
like i'm some kind of a disturbing creature
how cruel you were
though i tried to forgive you
but i just couldnt
so i wanted to forget about you
but you were everywhere

if u did it for a reason
you might as well let me know
though the reason i wont want to understand
cause the person i thought you were was much more incredible
theres alot more i want to let out
but i'm just too tired with it all
now i dont know what i ought to do
my guidance has left its place
so i'm just waiting for time to all the blame it will erase.

Easy

you get me hanging by the wall
you grabbed me there not letting me fall
you wander through my soul in and out
you went in and all about
then you love me and you miss
all the goodnights and the kiss
then comes your friends along the way
you whisper sweet candy you cant stay
so i easily let you go
though i didnt want to you do know

you left me by the door
you didnt realise i collapse on the floor
you march onwards towards your car
you didnt even glance back with any distance far

i keep wondering what went wrong
was it the way i love you all along
but when i remebered back all your smiles
i drive my car ahead for miles and miles
i'm reaching home back to you
but then i realise you have gone with her too

Easy,
it seems as if
Easy,
its the way you made me believe
Easy,
Now we're lost in our memories
goodbye sunshines
i'll see you again with someone else
and there i'll bury my worries

Dreamt A Dream

I dreamt about you,

 yes 'twas you. The very you. 

Standing not an inch far from me. 

You lean in and kissed my nose.

Then you float away to the sea.

 You sang through sands and shells.

I picked up a shell and heard your song. 

Your voice hits the best notes

All that touches my heart and i felt grasped there

Till i could see flying cupids everywhere.

You didnt let me go

For fear i might leave

No you never let me go

Not for any that could live.

You're my north star

Without you i cant breathe

I cant go any far

Anywhere with you at least.

Every dawn, i'll be at the waters

waiting for you to be here again by me

I'll use all of it for you my forevers'

Till the day i heard you whisper to me across the sea

I smile so bright you'll get blind

youre back you're on everyone's mind

But you had chose me instead any of those others

You said you wanted my heart

So i'll cherish you every part

All my might

Sunkin' all my fright

i'll be with you

and you were there with me

Loving eachother unreasonably

And how now i wish the dream was true.

:)

Little Princess's Diaries

Dear Diary,

I dont understand why mom keep fussing about how i dress! I'm only like turning 7 this weekend.. oh right! my birthday is near! i should set a party- no! this is not what i'm writing about. It's about my mom. She's fussing saying "Lily! The skirt's too pink!" or "I want you to wear the dress i bought you from Anne's Classic!". Hello! i love pink, i bet you ask someone around North Pole of what's my favourite colour, they sure will know its Pink! duh!  Blue is too yucky, Red's like uhh you wanna kill somebody and yeah theres alota colours i could push off comments about but you see i dont have time for that. I'm a princess. Anne's Classic?? You want me to put something from Anne's Classic on?? OH NO! You know i would, IF i was Granmadamoiselle Solese! The material is too old looking, its like you came back from the ancient time machine with it. If ever i put it on, i'd unhappily display myself at the antique shop down the road. Get the picture?

I cant wait till Daddy gets back, he is the only person who understands me. He always brings back something pink for me(except one day he accidentally handed me this small box, so i opened it up because its so pink i just love the box. But then the present was like transparent rubber thing tube-like looking and he bursted out saying "HONEY! Thats not for you! It's for me to use it on your mother! This is yours." He flushed red and handed me another box which is pink too but paler. Whatever did he wanted to do with a piece of rubber with mommy? Whatever, i dont bother) Daddy knows what i like to wear. All the feather coats and pink outfits and  three types of pink bed spreads! Now this is heaven! I ever i grow up to be a model, i'd wana be a model and name myself Paris Pinkton and dye my hair pink with all the pink pink pink pink and pink. 

Love,

Little Pink Princess

;)

Speak 3

"What ? Uhh.. tell me about-"
"Darren. If you really did it, i want you to tell me"
"No, listen-"
"So you didnt kill him?"
"Sophie, would you please just listen?-"
" I cant just sit around being calm and not knowing the truth its been- what about a week or more since he left? You tell me, Darren. How on earth would you feel, if one day you come back from work, eagerly to come home to tell a very happy news to your wife and suddenly found out she lay on the hall floor with her own blood trashing everywhere?! But i bet you didnt know how it feels like so i'll just burst it out now anyway." Sophie's pulse from the machine was alarming faster. " It was me, happily driving home to Aaron, just cant wait to tell him that i'm carrying our baby of two months and when i got back.."She couldnt continue.
"You were pregnant?! Sophie why didnt you tell me?"
"I wanted Aaron to know first, i thought it will be important to him than anyone else. Since he- well i didnt want anybody's sympathy so i kept it to myself" Sophie cried.
"You love your baby dont you?"
"What are you saying? Of course i - "
"Then why did you attempted a suicide?"
Sophie went blank for a moment, and in a blink realises what she has done.
"Call the doctor.. Now!"


Hell after hell arrives in Sophie's life. She lost her unborn baby. Worst of all this time, she's the murderer. Traumatised of her own act, she lost every human ability that she had left. Now she only can see and listen. Unable to speak anymore, she accept as it were her very own punishment set from above. Darren stayed with her, fed her every meal eventhough she didnt want to eat all. Sophie cries often, and Darren was always there to wipe them off her porcelain face and never once did he miss her tear. Day after day, Darren's guilt overlaps more and more. Sophie went back to her memories, the times with Aaron she had spared, the goodnights' she had wished to him, the breakfasts' that she made, the fake negative comments that Aaron made about her awesome cooking, the fussy phone calls Aaron received, every second of i love you's.

Breathing memories made Sophie cried herself to sleep.

to be continued

Speak 2

After the little earthquake happened at Sophie's place around two horrifying months ago, Sophie was still in the safe bay, recovering. Meanwhile, the man who saved her life stuck to her side and never once left her alone. Full of guilt, he stayed by her side hoping she'll wake up with a peace heart and kindly forgive his biggest, worse sin he had ever done. He strokes her hair and combs it as it were a little bushy at the end. He shed a tear for the 152nd time or more since Sophie was first dazzled to a coma. He becomes more lean and hungry looking as he never bother to take care of himself. Unable to breathe right he still go on with his life just to gather all he has to atonement. Yet, poor little lean hungry man, didnt expect that 'someday' is today..

Sophie, opens her eyes woke up from a nightmare and tried to look around. But it stings. She cant move her neck, her head. She tried to fold her fingers to a fist and let out a sigh as she could. Then Sophie tried to move her self, shifting to left to right, but she couldnt. She was paralysed. But thankfully, God left her one ability..

"Where am i?.. Ouw, my head, my back.. Whats going on? I had the scariest dream.."
"Sophie! Oh my God, you are finally awake! How are you feeling?"
"Darren? is that you? Get away from me.."
"Whats wrong? No its just your dream. Sophie you remembered me! You were in a deep sleep and they told me you were in a coma but i dont want to believe them. You have no idea, i am so glad ur up now!" Darren kisses her forehead.
"Darren.. i was just in my bathroom just now- wasnt i?"
"Sophie, i need to tell you something. And please i beg for your endless forgiveness-"
"Darren.. dont tell me.. "
"Sophie?"
"You killed him, you did it didnt you? Tell me you didnt kill my Aaron! Tell me the nightmare i had wasnt true!"

Sophie's heart raced. Darren was hesitating..

to be continued

Colourful Drugs

healers of my pain
working with no gain
sick as i am my broken soul still remain
with my body and the endless strain
quit it now
quit it now
it will never stop at any station
the train gone with the wind
it kills without hesitation

ive been ill
indeed i am for a very long time
i lost all my will
to live and go on with my chime
my loves prepared my stone
and they do dug earth to fit my bone
how theyr minds are shallow so
eager to kill for me to go

though i am thankful
my life has been chapters of troubles
every word rhymes with pitiful
from my pale drunken lips drops my last air bubbles

i have been sick since infant. body weak. i cant run. cant do anything extreme, its devastating cause i love adventures and those kind of things. so now, the hospital become my second home. though i hate the place so much. my system is full with many types of drugs. still they dont cure like they use to. its like im already immune to 'em. maybe. so here now, still waiting for angel of recovery cast a spell on me.

Insomnia

some people can be so blind. or just plain stupid. or both. and mixing up with everything that sores the heart. with my heart condition, what can you possibly do. not much. barely nothing at all. its already weak, and now its more unable than ever to do its duty for a living. i have never felt this way before. this feeling of forgiving the sinners. yet i did anyway. my companions despises me for my act. but i just couldnt help myself. i cant help it if someone is feeling uneasy or even a certain tingle of dislike to a matter that involves me. or if they feel guilty for doing something wrong to me. i dont like to let them dwell in their guilt. its a terrible feeling. its barbaric. and how do i know that? cause i have been through those kind of phases before. and have swore not to let other people around me or just any of my acquaintance to go through them. i believe in peace for better place in world that starts with just one being.

love segment : to my crush that i had continuing till now since 3 years ago. i still do. i never gave up on you. but i just cant speak it out from this trembling lips that had never been touched. u caught my whole attention since the first time i saw you. though im pretty sure you'll never find out that i have been having this stupid feeling for you.

close too far : my parents and young monsters left for up north. for the first time they left without me. and for the first time, i earned this horrible feeling. somethings missing. and i cant tell what it is. yet all i know is that, i miss them very much, and im nothing without them. life sucks without them.everything just doesnt work out well without them around. and i feel stupid for just realising it now after all this years. gosh, im crying this very second.

tremble pulse, depressants, pills : when will this stop? please stop right now. why cant i sleep? please knock me on the head, let me rest for once with peace.

and so then, she took pills that'll treat cold flu as they'll make her feel drowsy, but it fails. s she took some more in, till half the bottle is in herself.

speak

She lay by his body, his icy cold body. His heart beats no more, the only one reason she carried on with her life has now ended, disasterly. His last words to her slaughtered her heart inside out. She was not his lover, so he said. She mourned for months, confused was all the mourning for he is gone or the fact that all the while that he lived, he never loved her back and she was cheated. The answer was, all of the above. Sadly for Sophie, everything turns to hell, and she didnt even know what was coming for her, what was written for her future that will set her to mischief cases. Sophie, never ate a meal since his death. She only ate fruits and little digestions cookies just to keep living and solve the mysteries of the reasons why he never loved her when she had gave everything that she had to him. Then she remember that he never kissed her before though he had mention the three little words that meant so big. Now she's not sure what it means anymore.

The doorbell rang. Sophie, in the toilet cutting her wrist with a mini knife. Her mind floats and she didnt realise she's making a deep cut and nearly cut a vein or more. The doorbell rang many times until the ringer gave up and smashed open the door himself and called out her name. He started to shout for her but she couldnt call onto him. She gathered every power that she had but still couldnt speak to call for him. Him the familiar voice. Yes she knows him, very well indeed. She tried to speak out for his name, she made a great effort that her spine hurt, and she succesfully did.

"I'm iin.. the -"

Sophie didnt manage to finish her sentence, but luckily he heard her and he abruptly followed her voice. He found her on the shower tiles, the raindrops flow from the shower pipe down to the drain with some of Sophie's blood washed away blending with the water. She was already unconscious and her pulse was getting slower. He carried her in his arms rushing to where she needs to be.

" Dont do this to me, Sophie. Not after all that i have been through. I still havent told you the truth-"


to be continued

Promises Postures

"i promise to say
i love you every morning everyday
i promise i will be
the best for us for you and me
i promise to be with you
wherever you may be
i'll stand beside you"
i just described everything about that day. of which it was about you. you crept up onto me and dazzled me with those 'lines'. and i was a fool to believe your promises. that you will abide them. but you did not. and never once. and so you left me tormented waiting for you. and dont blame me if i curse you. its my turn to sail a sin. i thicken my perspective towards soul era. and pray that i wont fall off the end of the river again. i wanted to be strong, but i hadnt any ways to do so. unrealisingly, i became a monster. of something like you. but now when i torture you up, dont blame me still. honey, you created this creature.

Stars

at night i pray
that i will lightly reach you someday
ohh i'll fly
to my hearts desire i'll flicker a try
you were there for me all along
though i know when i sang all the songs
u didnt hear them even one
though still i took you best instead of sun
i keep u at heart and mind
cause i love so much the way you shine
i'd never care if you dont hear me
though i never stop wishing that you'll come down
and hold me in your arms while your eyes for me to see
for sure you'll settle all my noises and hounds
and just by thinking of you sends me to air now
i'll give you all my vows
for you have kept me alive
secure under your sky
you watch me from up high
so i dreamt of you wishing me all the same and i'm glad
you were wishing, forever the wishes that i've had .

Gumdrops

life.. aint it matter to anyone. i wake up every morning. sing in the shower, dance, belly dance, hit a high note from my throat. oopsy, your nt suppose to sing with ur throat, but i do. all the time. so no argue on that when my brother says i sound like a toad. sigh. i've been explained every day, reminded, every hour, but every second i tend to forget and wonder, 'whats it all about? life that is'. i dream a lot, seriously too much, till the ones i'm close with feels like slapping me on the head, poor them, why they still love me? no idea but i'm thankful that theyre still do. gosh i dont deserve them. big patience people. but i love them very much. especially my family. and my girls. oh oh boys? hmm. there are a few. that i love? yes there is. that i love love? ah no, nt that kind though. but waiting for one to appear. the Extraordinaire, the mr bombastic, so shaggy says.. . believe it or not, i believe in myths. though i hate so much that i do. cause theyre not real. still i believe them. why?? oh uh, thats me, idiotic, 16 with a 5 years old mind. how nice if a magician, or a vamp falls in love with me. but who am i anyway to gamble in those era, those side. sigh. i watch too much fiction. i so much enjoy britains classics. Pride & Prejudice for one, and Shakespeare In Love and all that sort. Elizabeth Bennet, she's such a smartass. ok stop on that, i'm getting dreamy again. you dont want me to start on Twilight now.
thats all i guess. you readers will hear from me soon ;)

kiss kiss hug hug big hugs small kiss big kiss small hugs

My Addiction

Breathing you
i cant stop on you
you grasp on me
and hold me so tight selfishly

u caught me by a first gaze
keep appearing in my dreams i wanted to sleep all day
i turned, twirl finding something on to cuddle
but its your eyes that stopped me got me dazzled

when you're not around
i always have my days of frown
i took in millions of chocolates
and recited the foolish alphabets
just to push away my stress
but still i failed all my actions went trashed

i tremble every now and then
thinking when you'll come back and only then
will i be at ease
i can think wisely and finally breath
though my heart will never slow its speed
because it knows that you're all i need
and for you only it beats

if ever the world fired another war
reflexly i know who to die for
if ever you need my heart to survive
i'll give it to you knowing i'm the one keeping you alive
i'd rather be gone and you be safe with my heart
than live to mourn on your depart
take my life, now
take it away
though remember forever with you
i will stay.

17 Signs of Attractions

SEVENTEEN: U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY


SIXTEEN:

WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU
STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO.


FIFTEEN:

YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or SMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.



FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM


THIRTEEN:

YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE AROUND.


ELEVEN:

WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE
SAME TIME



TEN:

YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE. or [hear bout them]



NINE:

WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All YOU SEE IS HIM//HER.


EIGHT:

YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW/LOVE SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM


SEVEN:

THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.


SIX:
YOU LOVE THERE HUGs & KISSES MORE THAN ANYTHING.


FIVE:

YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE AlWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM.



FOUR:

YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.



THREE:

WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...



TWO:

You were so busy thinking about that person, you didnt notice number twelve.


ONE:

You just scrolled up to check & are now silentely laughing at yourself.