This is for The Reasons

lace up my shoes then i went running

cant tell which way to go my heads spinning

for then you opened my heart-locks

and i found my musical box

and the next minute

 i was the dancer in it

with my heavy dress

i never did try to impress

but you realize my heart that youve caught

you held it in your hand and kept it safe about

i jump i laugh i stand

and do it just cause all over again

i let you drive to the backpockets where you flew your hands

and though the things that youve said made no sense

i still know to you im above the rest

i knew sometimes things that dont make sense are the best

but then again you change your feelings like the seasons

so here i dont know i guess that this is for the reasons

?

• Put your music player on shuffle
• Press forward for each question
• Use the song title as the answer to the questions
• No Cheating!

1. How am I feeling today?

too little too late (yeah i guess so) 

2. Where will I get married?

supermassive black hole. ^.^

3. What is my best friend's theme song?

push - enrique iglesias.. ?

4. What is/was highschool like?

girls generation. haha oh yea

5. What is the best thing about me?

another wanna be- brittany McDonald. hahahahahhahaah

6. How is today going to be?

work out plan. - kanye west :D

7. What is in store for this weekend?

all my life - kc and jojo "(oh?)

8. What song describes my parents?

no one- alicia keys -.-

9. How is my life going?

fly me to the moon - olivia ong! oh please! yes

10. What song will they play at my funeral?

Shot to Pieces- skye sweetnam. (oh dear )

11. How does the world see me?

number one - skye sweetnam (oh yeah!)

12. What do my friends really think of me?

the scientist- coldplay (haha! youre kidding!)

13. Do people secretly lust after me?

Killa - Cherish (hoomaiigoat)

14. How can I make myself happy?

Superhuman - Chris Brown (welli guess so)

15. What should I do with my life?

i'm in love with my guitar - jude harrison (really now?)

16. Will I ever have children?

Reasons To Love you - meiko (lol)

17. What's your best advice?

Fall Apart Today - schuyler fisk (oh joy)

18. What is my current theme song?

Come On Over - Christina Aguilera (lol)

19. What does everyone else think about my current life?

Killing Me Softly - Fugees (haha.. yeah kinda..)

20. What type of men do you like?

Reason why - racheal yamagata (hmmm)

21. Will you get married?

Better in Time - Leona Lewis (haha)

22. What should i do with my love life?

Prototype - City Sleeps. (sheh?)

23. Where will you live?

HIghway Star - Deep Purple (whoah)

24. What will your dying words be?

Only Hope - Mandy Moore (awesome)

25. When I'm having sex I say ...

Okaeri - Ayaka (As in 'I'm Back'?.. wth?)

26. When I meet a guy for the first time I say ...

Goodbye Apathy - One Republic (ahah)

27. When my parents are angry I say ...

Back To Black - Winehouse

:)

im thankful today
with all those people that i know or knew
the things they do, play and say
one of them who ever it is might be or you
made me realise the real people to me
the ones thats important in my life
make me wander by the real street
where i should be, how i should act
the people who knows, notice the littlest things that i do
rather than the ones who just say but never prove that is true
i know them now
and i hope for the days to come
that will, will be strong in me
that these people stay as my friends
for who knows maybe with luck, till the end

:D

My Aunt, The Santarina

    

 it was my first christmas celebration, (so i thought, mom told me we had had one before, with aunty farah, back in her old house, by the jap room, but i was so young then i couldnt rmmbr anything about celebrating christmas. ) 

 so the day began, had doctors appointment with Abg Zul, he scoped my nose using a super long thin camera, and he said my signus getting worse, yeda yada... took me meds.

later, qis picked me up and we went to ou, looked for chai but she was nowhere to be seen, it turned out that chai n friend was actually at GSC MIDVALLEY. -.-".  so we hang around ou. i got my hair done, its shorter now, yeah i know ive been avoiding the saloon lately, for the wish of keeping my hair long, but it takes decades my God, and my hair was getting bad, split ends allover, my scalp wasnt healthy either, so, had to turn into some good hands. the hair wash felt great :) qis was somewhere, roaming around. and then we went mini shopping, well i did, qis was just window shopping-ing. took pictures and all. she better upload em soon

then mom came, had to order some baguettes for tonights dinner. had some takoyakis'. 

then when i got home, inka and Lim was there, playing footie. tried to ignore her, but i cant (what was i thinking, no, whats the motive? youre such a bimbo la) 

i freshn up, then i followed abg to send inka and Lim back home. and it was a crazy ride. it was really noisy while inka was in the car, but just after we dropped her off, the scene was silent. o_0

then got to aunty ara's place, the first thing i saw was thehuge christmas tree. the decos' very nice, and alota presents decked below it. then i got nearer, and saw names on each present, and i saw mine!!! (yeah, i received a few!) that was really unexpected, but before we could get them, we had to have dinner first, oh the food was great! i feel like Gloria right now. then we got our pressies, all of us had something from auunt ara, lina and uncle idris and reime. and my strawberry jelly cake finished, they liked what i brought! made em myself ;) (pot-luck) 

then later did some karaoke...

and the day ended. 

did i mention the food was great?

i'll get you soon, Ayu

16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them.

1. I own a fake gucci. omg i admitted it

2. I have this new mp3, listened to yiruma all day long since i had it

3. I'm very overreacting crazy-ly with my girls when i'm full, seriously, ask inka.

4. I'm a maynese?

5. i'm totally wearing my jealousy cap lately, so be nice.

6. I have this thing for benefit products. o0o0o0oh

7. I'm allergic to paracetamol. -.-

8. I have a skechers skin boots a hand me down since my 22 year old brother was std 5

9. I like looking at the beach

10. I'm an idiot when it comes to maths

11. I'm a total chicken?

12. i still love watching disney princesses. mae tell me when is princess night??! 

13. i used to wish to be a ballerina.

14. my favourite singer is nobody at the moment. -.- thts bad

15. i'm nothing without dancing

16. i ate too much today

16 10 people to be tagged:

1. inka ..... need i say anything for this woman
2. razak .. just as payback for the bullies
3. kahar ... just as payback for showing off :P
4. hazim .. cause i've been missing him
5. myraa.. tho she stopped using blogger... ?? ?
6. momy.. tho she doesnt have blogger
7. arif... as the more things to say about his new no-hair style ;)
8. alesia.. for the payback of the rainbow wedges
9. anissa... cause she texted me
10.who? how about you who's reading

Only Dreaming

trashed in the fullmoon's winter night

coping with what you seem to be right
lay my head on the summers of your skin
pin my lips that nowhere should be in

so tell on my tale
where do i live
where can it be
the one thats for me

once upon a day
i pricked a finger and told me to pray
slip my files on the silver table
there i found a cotton cable
connected to a tree
who has longed to find me
so i pulled the target
but after long i forget
i was only dreaming
i was only dreaming

the fairies held my story hanging
i was on the bay defending
wanting what showed me right
all the signals that fright
so again i counted my seconds
and slowly close my eyes

and there i found the magic man
who smiled exactly how i planned
he lifts his thumbs up
showing how love makers throws up
and i laughed and laughed
joy to what was infront of me
but when i opened my eyes.
who knew who was it actually
oh the disaster
its the dog of the trouble maker
licked, splatted all over
i end you with a laughter
i was only dreaming
i was only dreaming

Finally Theres a Reason "

get the world prepare them for war.

i dreamt an interesting dream. i was riding an air bike. more like sitting behind the rider.  hugging him so that i wont fall, most of the time i closed my eyes, scared maybe, it was really fast! yeah the one that could fly. it was like in a gang of bandits or something, or maybe good people i dont know, they seem nice, and very protective above me. i recalled the guys name was amir. lol. 

anyway, that thing that comes once a month is really late though, i asked my mom abou t it , she told me its because i'm stress. haha. okay. though i am nt so sure about that, cause i feel okay. for all i know i'm lying to myself again -.-

Learning Girl

as he wander in great strength 

as she fulfills her inner desires

over colored prisms they danced on

nothing compared to life 

for the one they breathe unto

has fall to thou laps whom deserves them

i watch in gay

the life that they smile on

the richness that lands on them

i sat quietly by the meadow

praying whispers to God

though my life isnt as perfect

i collected the chapters i walked through

and most of them were tears

i still can smile above them

and tell them off my life is better than yours.

i took  a piece of a broken glass

and fix them altogether

little do i know

the town baron was watching me

playing magic hands,

he sprinted towards me and gave me a nickel

and said "Little Lady, once youve grown, you come work with me,

i'll make you a million dollar woman"

and since then, his words became my inspiration to achieve my dreams.

Then i was 17 growing in love

irrevocably much

he was just as handsome

caring, a perfect man

but

then i found out 

he had learnt to love two at a time

so broken hearted girl ran down the street

drinking hot chocolate in the middle of summer

burning her tongue

and the waitress said 

"Fear not of a broken heart, cause thats all the heart is best at

and the best thing about it you shouldnt be afraid to trust anyone as long as you 

trust yourself with him, and the best of it all, the heart doesnt tires out, you can always try

till you achieve"

i've come to know

people are great

not all are bad

all it takes

is just four season to learn

to understand

and take chances

and be open in any circumstances.

new Chapter

hey world, its Carabella, 

oh its horror, stepping into next year, i can already see the visions of '09, and tell you this, its no wonderful life. spm is the greatest fear, but the best part of it all is that i'm going to go through it no matter what. insya allah :D i dont know how it happened, maybe i do but i seem to love my life nowadays. appreciating is more of the word in my head. i'm greatful for my family, i'm so thankful for my friends. lets all pray that i stay optimistic all the way, reading helps you know, its my secret towards happy life, thank you Sir Albom. :) 

Buku Runtuh?

yeah, i had superb books given to me in a day, like 5 - 6 books, and theyre great too. but mom insisted on having me finish my religion reading first, since i could finish breaking dawn in 2 days.. thats over 300-400 ++ pages, whats 638 pages of Qur'an? i'll tell you this.. its not in english ;( anyway, let me rise in arabic, let these tongue of mine be flexible, let me read and understand with speed. and when completed this task that fall upon thy, i shall be more relaxed whilst the fear in not stepping to next year battles like brothers' war.

Sunshine Bangin On the Door

it was awesome, i slept over at my grandma's, had a movie marathon. blu-ray Step Up2, amazing.. then dark knight, then Penelope( i love James McAvoy) then shrek 3, and Madagascar 2. alls cute :D its aidil adha, went to my uncle's place and had the best food, and the best cake. after.. i went to the graveyard..

and i saw my allahyarham grandpa's name painted on the block. recited prayers for him. it was raining.. the same rain as ever, everytime i come by here. i felt the numb that was hidden all along in me, i found it, finally. i was faking myself the whole time? haha. thats really unexpected from you, siti. though, i'm still just letting it be.

and then, after 5 days, mother came back, i waiteed, waited, and yes i meant i waited! at the international arrivals, mom was no where to be seen, after what seemed like an hour, she came out, with luggages of stuff. mom got me Girlfriend - Indonesia magazine.. and almost everything inside it was about twilight, im so happy she got em for me :D though, every single word was in Indon language. nvm abt tht tho.

the thing is today, i found out alota things, happy yet numb too. Complicated am i.

Baldu

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