Take the Step

whatever happened to the girl that used to smile
she'll smile when someone's happy
she'll smile for a funeral just to be strong
she'll smile on stage for the delights of other people
she'll smile just so to keep on living
she smiles when everything is just so wrong

she use to look up upon people
but now her heads down
she use to laugh of matters that wasnt a comedy
just to make someone feel pretty
she used to give all her talent out
just to make someones day
she used to be the person she loves
but now it seemed that someone had took everything away

now look
look beyond her tears
look across her floating mind
look around her sight
can you see it
can you see it through her eyes
nobody can see the world the way she sees it
no one else knows the feeling she had
she had bury them not deeply
but it matters to no one to find the treasure
the treasure that has every answers
for why she is the way she had been.

though if you still have the slightest of curiosity
let her know
though she wont answer you directly
but she will lead you there
all you have to do is
take the step

Being The Devil

Pointless

to repay such democratic hypocracy, i tend to be at the point of no plans, trapped in this body that my soul has been longing to be freed. what other streets should i walk? what other valleys should i cross? i've been to the great high mountain, but never did i to the top. i've faced millions of pretenders but what about the billions?

breath,

i kept telling myself

take the most out of time.

but just to breath in and out

just to do such random thing for daily

it hurts the most

a dagger thats in your heart

and was fated to be there

as long as it can hold

as long as this live.

,,

my other world 

intend to pull my throughly

whole

but just as my lust starting to outrage

it stops

the world stops

just for me to observe the reality

and take chances from seen advantages

to take part in ever laugh 

to love every mind

to die willfully in the end.

''

where am i ought to go

for now i dont know

where was i supposed to be

the answer is only within me

and also in others that has believed

ever jokers dreams that has took me

to them that i have reached

and as they could just foretell me things

only i can make it come true

for my fate is mine

no one can puppet me

except in the hands of His

i shall obey 

that is the way

if He says it 

..

yet i sit still on the basic earth

never have i felt it shake

that i wish it will remain as it is

for me to feel the ground with every vital

understand its grief and weight

that has made it cry for a millions of years

to wonder if i could be as strong as this planet

but all i thought was a failure

how could it be

as it wouldve never happen to me.

..

however much i play it in my mind

however again it will repeat

this loss

and every occured pain

will still remain

the same

..

.

all my Heart

nihonjin for a day. ;)

first step dress like one.. : 

1. bright sweater
2. knee length skirt
3. high socks
4. timberland boots

next visit nihon shops..

1. anime tech(purchase a good manga, dvd)
2. shojikiya (must have macadamia chocs)
3. jusco (look for tokiyaki stall)
4. jusco (purchase japanese packed curry and enjoy ;] )

at home!

listen to your favourite nihon melodies

watch your purchased dvd while munching on tokiyaki

LOVE!,

HAGU

BEST REGARDS TO

TAKEMOTO KUN

&

MAYAMA

Reborn with Love

'so i was walking

by the horror bids of life

was there a shadow beside me it clings

so i shout with all anger and all might

SAVE ME

the terror musculine body took me up

as to him i am no lighter than a pebble

i look as though in his arms like a cub

there i stay forever subtle

"quiet my girl"

"i'm scared"

"now, theres nothing of fear

as i am here, i'll stay with you for as long

as

you

wish"

drawing his fingers through my hair

humming melodies by an angel

a voice fit for Gods banquets

though he was graving inside himself

questions of prophecies flow through me

as i wonder

what being so magical

heroic

is he?

i screamed inside

lowly

and quiet

for i didnt wish for the singing to end

that angel voice..

already read my mind.

"anything hurts young miss? Let me step

in your pain and destroy

them first hand"

i shook my head in disagree

"no! dont stop!"

"pardon me, my singing you referring to

my delicate?"

he continued traversing a route

unfamiliar route to my sight

and while i was on his arms

holding me like his own child

he continued too

his flawless lullaby.

studying his sculpture perfect face

his skin was silky and fair just

as if i were to touch them

they will die of germs

and his lips

undescribable

if i were to be kissed by it

i will die with pleasure.

but there was something else

something that made him look mere to God

more justice

most perfection

with him in place

the atmosphere turns

from every underneath of darkness

to the tip of sunshine

every distress shall run from me

just as he

enters my war world.

"you.."

"Ask away. I'll answer."

"have.."

"Fangs? was that it, my girl? i knew you

would have to see them eventually. Dont

cry now. I am after all, a humble one. I'm not

like others. Believe me, love."

i sat quietly in where he

had placed me

velvet bedspread

with a scent of vigorous passion

and gentleness.

he slowly tuck in by me

and held me there

his breathing was in blues tone

and he lay there for a while

and i felt fully secured

despite that he is the most reason i

should be fearing,

but its all turning against fate.

"ITS TOO TEMPTIOUS, I shall HAVE YOU KNOW"

though he roared, i didnt shake one bit

the fangs purged through my neck

just down my ear.

i knew the pain was coming

but never i expect for a great one

this is how it feels

the great deal of hate

mixtures with love.

it happens when you try to

attaches two positive magnet poles together.

though i held him nearer,

letting him drain me.

...........

.....

He runs to my arms,

the tardy little boy needs me,

and his scent has been my target

i'll save him.

he just has to wish for it

"hush now, dear"

"i am not afraid"

"never lie, my dear boy, for i know

what the person i love is thinking"

"hence, i shall no more, i am afraid. Death is chasing me"

"my careness. theres no need for fear,

as i am here..

i'll stay with you

for

as

long

as

you

wish

.

.

.

Savaged

the colors of my future began to fade away
a smile of a pretender
will not stay any longer
sick as i am still i dont belong to you anyway

what has happen to all the memories
and those lullabies that u hummed by my ear
for all might i will get i promise you in this bound of fear
lies and despise revolves around your soul piece

The Widow

painting whats left of the art
as her marbled eyes turned misty grey
it scowled at all hearts
though she kept smiling hoping it will return someday

the brushed poster left a message
for whom they remained unknown
but as the mysterious feeling was there
she knew right away she was not alone

she read the poster with words unspoken
in her mind they dwell unpuzzling around
with gentle she untwist but failed it broken
she stood up but all she felt was underneath and down

now she lay by the broken path of past
she couldnt return and forgive what must
again the widow had no one
uncounted tears will drop for her late husband.

For Love

laying by the noble buds of tulips
shall earth shake its ground
to what will return by the nights of eclipse
all lost souls must be found

on this old grey stone i shall stand
will not tumble nor will i fall
for theres no need the interference of another hand
should i kill one or kill them all

Though this play have been gaming through days
i have never witness one soul that felt it
everyone of others just pass by their minds bay
but never once wonder the illness of defeat

let there be love all around the town
if ever theres a war i will stand in front
for these people are the core reason of my living soul
Breathe rightly with them even with the winters cold

Hontoni

hahaha

yes lets all laugh about it now. It was funny recalling what i did today
well maybe these few days

i didnt talk to anyone since ystrday.. why? wakarimashita.. i dont know. so.
i thought i wanted to die. so i was at the balcony, looking down the grass that was so down below wondering if i should jump down and no i wasnt fearing of the consequence yet i thought about the roller coaster feeling. ne?? baka ne? hontoni baka desu. baka baka
haha.. yosh!
nxt!
my parents asks me.. i decided i should change school. nani yun??! watashi tottemo suki sri aman gakuen! or i pretend i like? hhaha wakaranai...
nxt!
i lost myself for a moment
i lost my smile
i lost confidence..
haih.. so desu ne.. taihen desu

aizat called me and pulled me back right on track
and sorry.. i could lay off the msn, phone, myspace, but never to my blogger! no
gomene!
hai! tottemo aishiteru babyy ;)

now i will try my best to find myself and while im getting there i'll keep smiling
atleast pretend to smile till i am really smiling. reach the goal! GAMBATTE NE!
i love everybody. whoo crazy..

so desu
just there now
reaching
Gambatte!

BABY!

New Beginning

smile from now on.


it hurts i know


but i'll pretend baby


and i will move on


:) baby!

gambatte ne!!

Crawling by The Roses

i woke up today with circles under my eyes
so i wonder away if my dream had come true
sadly no, i wasnt a bloodthirst
i just hadnt enough sleep.

i tried to walk away but i was just tied on to myself
sleep walking everyday
the clock seem to be slower than ever
i had to drag myself and end up thankful when i survived a day.

i cried i laughed i couldnt stand the silence
i'm looking at the board of science but all i can catch in my mind is your laughs

well i thought promising is forever
then again youre still leaving somehow
Lullabied me that nothings gonna be over
So dont stop and sing to me youre love vow

Everyday i'll be praying
For your ever happiness
Every night before i sleep
i'll have to sleep with the necklace
Or i wont sleep at all if its not on me
as so if i have it, i'll get to sleep dreaming of you
and none can wake me even if the earth shall shake.