First Halloween

i was figuring out what to wear, and i thought oh i have a kimono, might as well be a dead geisha or something.. but then, nah, it'll be too warm wearing it walking all over the neighbourhood. so then i saw a tie on my desk, no idea how it got there, not mine of course, and i saw my pinafore. so BAM! i decided to be a harajuku highschool girl. had my hair tied like two ponytails and pat some concentrated pink blush on my cheek. (i know, so not fit in halloween style) but wtheck. then i drew a big love on my cheek. (the look was dorky, so much that i wont scare the kids, but the guys!) LOL

  so arrived at aunt farah's place. qis wasnt around yet, so i waited for her. 

then she came, wearing all black, the goth girl. got more make up on each other then off we went, house to house. my dad said go and experience it. i never celebrated halloween before. so i quite as much dont know what to do, but i did saw this only in the movies, so yeah, i was good at saying TRICK OR TREAT! but wasnt brave enough to go to haunty decorated houses to knock on their door. oh no. theres this one house had sound effects. there was no way i'm going for that one! and then next, bae's place, her father was all done up like he had his head off, and the neck got goooweyy eeewy blood sprinkling around, he was holding his head by his arm, and white shirt was red of the blood. a very nice work, it looked so real i was about to puke. i bet if jia were to see this one, she'd KO. 

and again me and qis roam around the neighbourhood, there were alot of interesting ghost  around, (i hope there werent any real) witches, vampires, and lalala. we went about 7 houses or more i couldnt remember, but i know my candy bag, cant ever compare to my lil sis's. she had tons more. maybe cause she's cute, all pinked up and had a lil devil headband going around her head. (tariq said she didnt need the fake horns on her head XD lol) 

there was alot going on that day, but sheesh, i couldnt remember, cause i'm kinda distracted right now. but all in all it was great to have experienced real halloween. and i've got a bag full of candies! not that much, but its enough ;D 

trick or treat smelly feet get me something good to eat!

Happy Halloween - Siti

still, as that carved pavement

down the block of Halloway St

She sat there looking over a diverged light

i missed a pulse as i saw her eyes piercing mine

hunger for sight she was, as that laminated scene

dispersed from her shoulder and left flamboyant by the walls

of Shoire Notticate.

She ran for the church as soon 

as the lady started chasing after her shadows

the lady chased tracks so smoothly

as smooth as a ballerina working on her pirouettes. 

and then the lady went on her knees

and crawl, still chasing after me

i looked back and saw

how close she was

i could hear her heavy breathing

and saw her mystique iris 

changes colour to deeps

as though it was a sign

for me to add more on my speed

knowing all too human

she was a monster

i end in defeat

she pierce a pain by my lower ribs

and ate me alive

and now i'm a soul

seeking the one

who sent the lady 

i'll start my haunting

i'll just start with you

who reads this

in my red velvet cloak

with my hair all over my chest

and a hand pointing

at you.

It Might Have Been

Everybody's talking how i cant be your love, but i want to be your love for real.

Though the dark words have spoken, i miss everything, thats for sure, knowing nothing will come in between time. My spirit is ever blazing, wont go on dead, never.

aND yeah, Jacob Black! i've got him by my side
keeping me warm in the cold fright.

let it Rise, let it Go

the vertical ladder falls down today
whatever the loathsome from the city's bay
to think you own the past from what was shamed
leaving me and myself all to the blame

the city light when a dimmed
your shadow cast left its limbs
yours to know, me to find out?
i dont enjoy that kind of life, lets just speak out

still i know the turn you made
when insane for it all the blade
synchronized thoughts wont come to light
a synchronized war will come to fight

i was dumfounded
lost and determined?
where's the cause
of whats left behind

its the past
nobody can reverse the time
i even lost the button
to shut up and rewind.

what was that the above?
for the reason shall stay in that Pandora
lost to the power of it
lost, gone, washed, and etc

dancing on Points

lifes like waterfalls
when you reach up for the sky
you beat through the walls
you scream so flying high

seems like you dont understand
since when you got in love again
but you sit back in your dreams
watching it all turn at seams

love laugh scream do it all
give it all out your heart, your all
the steps that you take
get it loose from you, shake baby shake

i want it again
love by love, no harm no pain
its easy to get in the diff
just try and believe

i'm not asking for much
i dont mind all the touch
just tell me you do
honestly its true

youre my sunshine after the rain..

Give Me Sunshine

so you taken them pills for to fill up your soul and youre drinking them down, with cheap alcohol.

turned in twine
make it a lonely one last chance
for it to be here in my arms be mine


i'm no superhero
i dont climb walls to get something special
i dont fly high either
nor have super strength to carry a whole castle that you dreamt off

so walk on baby
i'm not the one for you
dont look back dont look at me
this time i'm for a ride thats true.

Down Will Come Baby Cradle and All

i only wished you knew how i think of you every minute, every beat of my heart,
i wished you knew how every night before i close my eyes i silently wish you goodnight and hugged my pillow pretending it was you, hugging me to sleep. and how every morning, i look at your picture, pretending its me who youre smiling to, i wish you'd just tell me the things that bothered you every day, and not keep it in your heart, and i wish i knew myself how to ease your pain, the right words for you to hear.

i wished you knew how i doodled your name in a piece of paper, and how hard it was to carve your name by the tree.

i wished you knew when i ate a meal, i hope you were eating too and not starve yourself.
and when i pray, i only pray for your happiness. and with a slightest space in prayer, i fit in that maybe you would share your happiness with me.

how crazy you got me.

The Song

Did you see the singing birds outside
oh right they were singing right
went into myself and danced all night
the song that played me every vital tonight

So come run to me
as you could see
i'm waiting down the tree
thats filled with love from centuries

Hurry downtown
to fall outbound
and you can come see me alive
running by the sunshines dive

my hearts singing the song
which you've been playing along
from your heart
to my heart

Yes i did confess
in this poppy printed dress
although i'm a mess
i dont you love you any less

oh sing me the song
which you've been playing all along
from your heart
to my heart


now break a leg
you wont need to beg
you've got nothing to miss
so lets just seal this with a kiss

oh you sang me the song
which you've been playing along
from your heart
to my heart
baby
keep on loving me.

Candle's Blew

what are you doing at the edge of that cliff

hear me out my story that you missed

i wish that you would only stay and stay with me

'cause these lies are too deep in its end

Dont leave me because one little lie you heard

I want to be 'us' again 

like the days that really mattered

so open your eyes

 and see whats in me

So you said to leave me alone

Oh shake it off your bone

this girl will never walk on

I will never look back if you tell me to

But i will fight flying daggers just to hear you say it again

its all i want today, tomorrow and the days will be

so say it out loud, say you love me

I want to be 'us' again 

with a life thats full of strain?

i dont even care

its my lips unwrapped

its not yours anymore

and it hurts to know

youre not even there

a life with a breath for only a second.

howd you think i want to spend it now

Your walking down the aisle with a beautiful angel

but its death to me..

oh its death to me..

 because i'm not her

Did you realise she was a lie

did you know she pulled the trigger on me when she came by

and before i died the words was such hell

she said "He's giving me your dream wedding bell"

and i felt the pill that went through my heart that belong to you

and it kills cause i didnt had the chance to say I Love You

Theres no more for us again

i felt the black suits in the rain

the waters drowned me

and so is the soil around

black umbrellas were dancing all the same

and there were people crying without shame

oh they cry and cry for my return

and i heard a few prayers 

'let her rest in peace'

then there was one voice that got me awake

i tried to climb in the end i was only deeper underground

it was you crying, it was you crying

why the tear honey

your tears are worthless to me

when i was up there young and free

you didnt bother to look at me

and now youre crying?

save it for your saint wife along your side

i could sense her smile from down here

nothing you lost my dear

its all at its end.

Theres no story about us again

I'm done with the souls complaint

i'd cherish my new life

Searching one to strive

but hear my last words

hear them last words

Though you have hurt me all

with all the down fall

even with all the sins

Baby youre forgiven..

Its Yours

Breathing the peppermint gum
she dropped by his place
He stunned to see her
in wet red cashmere coat
with a v necked open cleavage
he stared at her protected Dolce evening
and let her in.

'I lookin pretty for you tonight'
she breathed pumping her chest up and down
and of course he couldnt help himself
but indulge in her passion
letting love escape the dusk,
the love that pooled around her neck
went up to her lips
and it stayed there
til somewhile they couldnt hold in
and went out by his lips
and traveled all over his porcelain

They went on
till the breaking dawn
for the two drunk men
nothing mattered
for the devils that brought them together
was laughing in accomplishment
and for more sins to come
the satan marked down a target
that was them,
a victim of passion and greed
for forever.

I'm Stepping Alive

youre young and youre free
set your wings to buff
let your souls go wild
and take charge!

... what? XD
no ideeaa

you just might want to ask my friends how dreamy i was this morning, not one formula of Economics can be absorbed in my head! haha. damn it was challenging, being half awake doing finals. AND the best part, i wasnt the only one, Jia was thinking of her Muslim Love too. what a morning. :D

How I Dance In My Head

i doubt my feelings now and yesterday
i drove around the lovesome hearts bay
i saw alot of birds hand in hand
some were sharing glares
nanny and grumps loved the stare
others would just laugh
and i would only cry inside

i know you never asked me to count on time
but i really couldnt just live without counting
i dont know how long i can count in days to come
and i dazed off in my counts,
sleeping in them,
smiling through.

It's sick to think
when you love one, you'll hurt another
That is just my maiden name over there
Come to realise this fact
Maybe i should just give up
Whats the waiting for..
whats the crushing for..
why my heart is for..

You.

Black Knight

he came dashing the faces of innocence,
as one of them were my friends,
standing by me as i was humming a cry,
i float to him, and he pleaded for me not to cry,
so i stopped.

in white and every other colour by him
he wrote out a joke that made a whole of us laughed
i did too but it wasnt true
he knew it right away
somethings nudging me in my way

i went in the room,
crying my heart out
i couldnt take it in
and he came by the door
looking down on me
and asked me why
i felt secured
problems solved
but i still couldnt smile

and later outdoors
as his 12 cinderella's strike
i told him that trouble tale
and he was there
to tell me it was okay

knowing and hoping everything will be alright
he wished me goodbye
and went on his dark ride
and there by the corner i saw him gone
and there by that same corner
this girl fell down to a trouble
that she will keep thinking about
wondering every now and then
when will this heart stop
remembering the short time
thatll last forever.

16 Classified XD

love ? XD
those killer stilettos ;D
yoooooooo! i'm 16. the theory of being 16? i dont know, it just ablazed me today, well actually last night at 12 like cinderella. though it fall in the middle of my finals! T_T. and can you believe im typing so fast, you dint see it cmg. like ouahfjaouhfuabagtvasd yeah. XD i'm very thankful. those who wished me, and also those who didnt, even if you think 'oh its siti's birthday' but dint wish me its okay. ;) cause be thankful now, today i forgive all your sins to me. haha macam ada je. i got few things from people, Aishah its so sweet! XD ah ah aha h! oh well oh well. Aizat and Sean, no one on earth knows how i cried when i got that The Works of Shakespeare books! ;D 'youre 16 on the 16th' myra said. nahahah. yeah la kn. well then, cant type much, too greatful, the keyboards almost blown up, flooded by my happy fuzzy tears. (that doesnt make sense)

I will fly back to you my words

finals. until 31st october ;) for now, kaeru masen. Ja ne ;)

Most Likely

He who must not be named, he's cute. hohhoho. he's my wife, not my husband cause i dont like to be contolled, yet i want to control him. I enjoy bullying him too. Someday i'll abuse him. XD i like the way he talk fast and doesnt care his surroundings when he does. He is just him. Kirei, honto.

to be continued

For Old Times

[Meg:]
If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history, been there, done that!

[Muses:] Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'
He's the Earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, ya can't conceal it
We know how ya feel and
Who you're thinking of

[Meg:]
No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no

[Muses:]
You swoon, you sigh
why deny it, uh-oh

[Meg:]
It's too cliche
I won't say I'm in love

I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
Oh

[Muses:]
You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, we're not buying
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When ya gonna own up
That ya got, got, got it bad

[Meg:]
No chance, now way
I won't say it, no, no

[Muses:]
Give up, give in
Check the grin you're in love

[Meg:]
This scene won't play,
I won't say I'm in love

[Muses:]
You're doin flips read our lips
You're in love

[Meg:]
You're way off base
I won't say it
Get off my case
I won't say it

[Muses:]
Girl, don't be proud
It's O.K. you're in love

[Meg:]
Oh
At least out loud,
I won't say I'm in love

Iko Iko

People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse.These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

Section 1
1. The last person to tag you is?
Aizat, Hazim

2. What relationship of you with them?
Aizat.. well he knows :) Zim.. my excitive talker

3. Your first impression towards them?
Aizat.. sick. Really he was. Zim.. cute little thing. haha XD

4. The most memorable thing that they have done to you?
One hug by an end of a show, and the other, called me when i was ill ;D

5. The most memorable word that they have say to you?
kukukukuku

6. If they become your lover, you will..

nani?! Shiranai.. Honto desu

7. If they become your enemy, you will..
write a long letter to them, though bury it with me six feet under a minute later.

8. If they become your lover, they have to improve on..
hmmm, one on practicality XD and the other slow on the speeches. XP

9. If they become your enemy, the reason is..
They got drunk and called me up and talked about something.. I dont know? T_T

10. The most desirable things to do for them is?

Get A personal keroro for Aizat and really bring Tiff here to meet Hazim

11. The overall impression to him is..

ano san.. watashi wa.. blank desu.

12. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
Very up-nosed? Wakaranai.

13. The character you like of yourself is?
hmm, the poet.. demo ne, i like all of me

14. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
Duo personality

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Superman, or Morita

16. For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.
Koizora ;)

17. Six people to tag:
will be tagged later and you'll know then. Jamata!

Whispers Me Endlessly

Your soul is like the river, peaceful indeed, your love is a secret that i never could keep, when i look into your eyes i know that is true, God must have spent a little more time on you - NSYNC

Holding up a bashful flowers, she sinks deep in her heart, stumping down slowly by the midgets mud, that her points smothered with the browns. Graceful steps that took her floating, while the heart refused on breaking, it starts a speech. 'I'm in you, do you know what i am? I'm in you, would you like to find out? A place that i always go to, a place thats meant for someone who.. cares for you? Do you even know what it takes, to share me with someone else? To find myself knocking on his heart, to finally meet my friend of the kind that i am? I've always waited for the day to come, when we'll meet our dreams, so come together with me, its yours truthfully but i just want one wish from you, as a repay for beating in you, come find the one to be with me, to cherish to, to say i love you, from me, for me'.

ai ta kou to

so nan da. i have finished watching hana yori dango. both of the seasons. enjoyed it. (who wouldnt?) School started today. classmates cant stop testing eachother with IQ tests. fun some. and thanks to the movie Sumolah my friend wouldnt stop calling me Honda Siti. T_T
demo ne, i'm thankful today. and i hope i can stay this way. Ano san.. to the world. Its me again.

Genki de na
Jamata
;)

Frozen Stuff That Melted

i am very sorry about that honourably lame title. i Dont know how to express what i'm feeling. i feel stupid of my preview posts. (embarassed that i made such remarks)
Minna san ! i have heard about rolllercoaster rides before, experienced the feeling at the end where the ride has finally end and you trying to stand right. i guess thats how im feeling. yet i dont know. its just insane. i mean you look back, and thought back how did that happen? but what i can be sure of is.. i'm smiling. most truely smiling. a real smile.
okay i cant type much, received commands to off right now. Though heres an update, ive got myself both hana yori dango 1 and 2. XD ive got my breaking dawn too. but all that didnt make me happy at all. the feeling of happy just came by and staying here on. Oyasumi ne.

To Shatterness

yeah, i bitch about something on my posts whenever i feel sad, or effd up, or happy. I dont need a reminder thank you. But right now, i'm really drained from where we are. My heads caught up with all the blues, sonnets doesnt come around anymore. How i wish they'd come back. I'm just into pieces right now. Its one break i cant take. Well lets try.

This heart was meant to beat the summers
Out of every disturbed soul
Still mine just doesnt drum out
Nor feel the way they froze

So its over and done
Nothings coming back now
By the back and front
I am heading an end

Songs playing too slow
Pack up your minds lets go
To the place where you breath all right
No more pretending whats false

So its over and done
Leave it leave them behind
The moon shine left a blue by the sun
Showing a presence leaving a shadow

I hope youre just aware
The love that i had makes me still care
Sweeping forgottens on my way home
I'll walk on the breaking road, walking alone.