more to come :D

3 AM

3 am and i still awake writing a song, if i get it all down on paper its no longer inside of me threatening the life it belongs to.

say i cant be honest
the verses left me
im lost in the deep heartest
i cant open my eyes to see

tell me why now
tell me why you'd do this
tell me what did i miss
just make me smile, i forgot how

i turned my back for just a second
spent my minutes thinking of you
but then i looked back, i found my heart got beaten
beaten away from my dream come true

why now, why not later
i still want you to be here
i still want for you to be near
but all i can actually say is goodbye dear

i'll let you be today
you can say whatever you want to say
i may laugh infront of you, i cant hide
but i am really just tearin up inside

i'll just
i dont know
maybe, of course
i'll have to say goodbye
but i'll tell the whole world
im not.
gonna say
it.
now.
or ever.

CHICHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!

Anis: SITI JUST CAME BACK FROM THE SHOWER!
Qistina: I want pie.
Anis: Oh... She's back now. :D How was your shower?

OK THATS ALL! XD
WE LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!

'Yo mamma's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said 'to be continued''. HAHAHAHAHHA.
It was from the Youtube video.

Razlan: MAK CIK!

:D


Douchebag's are not worth the while :D :D :D
- Qistina >:D & Anis ;D (<--- Let us belanja you ice-cream BR!!)

<3

i miss <3

what i wrote in Class

when i sleep last night,
t took me such a long time,
just for me to go dreaming,
felt so hard, stopped my breathing,
whats in my head i cant decipher
....
let .. be, let.. remain not knowing how this feels
or if .. knows let .. go as it kills
when i woke up by my first alarm ring,
i refused, to get up to start a new day
my head was heavy, my eyes still closed.
still sore from tears and chocolates.
when i look at the sky during homeroom,
the clouds glower as they cover the bright sky with grey and unhappy shades of dim
as if to suit my mood, my heart.
the clouds unconnected, broken apart.
where am i? where are they?
my Friends are infront of me asking me why
i couldnt answer all i did was cry
i feel so alone
as that bird flying solo in the sky
telling me even if youre alone you still need to fly and move forwards until the day you die.

i was staring, out the window, the rain was mild, not heavy but calming.


as i was studying Economics..
i saw Affin Bank! HAHAHAHHA. lol. yeah.



ive been wasting inks on pretty papers
just to complain all my never ending heartbreaks
so i saved a little space in my heart
to fit you in the chapters of my life
ill wait for you to come back
i'll wait for you to love me
oh i'll wait for the day
for who knows will never come
well someday we'll see

..

my eyes are like not mine anymore. i wanted to cry after curtain call, but i couldnt. but in the end i broke down in the car. and at grandma's bday. and after that, and today too. went to school but couldnt stand everything so went back early. and some more being a Ketua class. -.- im not myself.. today is so dragggggyyyyyy. im like have to carry my own legs to walk. til i reached home, and slept for a few hours. that doesnt happen daytime.. for me atleast. i listenen to have you ever- Brandy til i slept. and woke up, my eyes got worse. dull, boring, lifeless, heartbroken.
i practically ate and ate and ate chocolates, cheese sticks, and wasted a whole lot of body water.

and then i thought to myself, i need to take classes, in my head theres only 2 things. latin and ballet. my dad wanted me to enroll in Peter's class, but then i thought i wanted to take Ballet first..
so yeah. im searching for ballet classes now.

life

have you ever love somebody so bad it makes you cry

have you ever needed something so bad you cant sleep at night
have you ever tried to find the words but they dont come out right


youd give anything to make them feel the same
have you ever search the words to get you in their heart
but you dont know what to say and you dont know where to start

Free Kisses.

yeah the title.. not from doraemon please! hahahahah :D Shows over. im happy yet very heartbroken. hmm, very dizzing. (is there such word) i dont know lah.

as we go on, we remmber, all the times we, had together..

we will still be friends forever

i love all of you

Verses n Choruses

You're like poetry
Hiding behind the words you speak
Changing the words of the story
You say you don't love me
Then say that you love me
I'm fighting
You're hiding behind the words
You're speaking
Changing the words
I'm lost in the verse
You say you don't love me
Then say that you love me
Why are you hiding?

you held my hand and watched me go
while you gave me that kiss it was something like this
wiped my tears got rid of all my fears
why did you have to go
guess its wasnt enough to take up some of my love
cause youre so hard to trust
did i not i tell you that i'm not like that
youre the one who
throws it all out away

someone took the key to your heart

Crush on You

sunday morning rain is falling.... :D

woke up today, laze in bed for a few mins, and got ready for rhrsal at DBKL! :D but i cudnt find my shirt though.. the dtb shirt.. :( so heres what happened today..

• got a teddy bear from maimun <3
• used my repaired jazz shoes :)
• inka replaced me for my solo, i couldnt sing.. ;(
• spilled water that landed on my own head.. -.-" haha.. fUnnnneeey
• gave Tariq my Daisuki, he better like it, its one of my collections :P (i got him for the Vday game)
• astro came to take video of our rehearsal
• took picture of the whole cast
• felt the early nervousness for the show is near! :D
• beautiful diary :)
• listened to DK the whole time on the way home. (right now pun) =]
• POETRY! hihihi

yeah.. i like today :) rhrsal was fun. of course, since when it never is? looking forward for our performance this week ! this week! this week.. omgosh. how time flies :(

now imma go write in that pretty book.

Tired

well. started off the day with school, i was pretty late, so i thought, then arrive in school, many hadnt came yet. i dont know why, but i was pretty much excited about this year's merentas desa. some of my friends looked at me up and down with the since-when-siti-ever-like-running look.

i promised my friend to run with her, but in the end as i was running i lost her, she was behind me i think. for the first time in my life, i felt like i have the motivation to run, mom's sneakers helped alot too, its so light! XD the 5km felt shorter distance than the torturous years i had before. i was determined to be at least top 20, just when im about to reach the end of the race, i had the worst stitch, the pain! i couldnt even walk, a st john came up to me and helped me abit, and told me to walk slowly. til at some point, as i was nearer to the school i started to speed up but by the time, all the other girls sprinted already, leaving me behind, and when i reached the school's gate, i sprinted as fast as i could to the end of the race. then i slowed my pace, and suddenly i felt like i was about to faint, omgosh, my sight was going blurry, my head was a lil heavy, all the pain i put aside when i was running came to me like a shower! but after a few minutes, i steadied myself, and i was okay again. all in all the run felt great! :D then we had cheer offs for each house. i saw mae cheering shouting and i told her, to keep her voice, but then after that i was the one who shouted my hearts out for my team, mae's green house ppl shouts like crazy. the results was hijau got 4th place, kuning got 3rd, then merah, champion again, biru. BUT for the first time in how many gazillion years, yellow house didnt get final place!! i was so touched and happy i cried. :D:D:D

then after school, i had to rush to my friends place and shower, then got in a cab, and went for the icc audition. it was fun, but im feeling a lil guilty, cause i had to go back early for rhrsals.

and then at the rhrsal, as i was singing carrying the banner, my voice couldnt come out, i got scared and abruptly stopped singing and went to aunty farah. she told me to see Peter. Peter had a look at my throat and he said some scary things. i never lose my voice before. i almost cried! though yea la, i cry for evry single thing, almost.

then i just had to sit aside, watching them singing and all. :( there were chicken balls and fried chickens, but Peter said avoid oily, fried food. :,( i had to tahan myself from eating them... haih. haha. anyways. it was such a tiring day. alot has happened. and im really tired.

The Day

i never celebrated the day my whole life before this, yeap this will be the first time :)

*the heart.. inka sent to me :D:D:D

Morning

http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dkoizora%26ni%3D20%26ei%3Dutf-8%26vm%3Dr%26fr%3Dsfp%26xargs%3D0%26pstart%3D1%26b%3D1&w=500&h=383&imgurl=static.flickr.com%2F3103%2F2331653788_df20dbae8b.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Famicheng%2F2331653788%2F&size=123.1kB&name=2331653788_df20dbae8b.jpg&p=koizora&type=JPG&oid=d0a3abff4a8597ce&fusr=Ami+%E2%99%A5&tit=2331653788_df20dbae8b.jpg&hurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Famicheng%2F&no=11&tt=381&sigr=11h9ns9a0&sigi=11gb798s1&sigb=136h79o6s&sigh=116nuko7u

i wanted to upload a cute picture on the movie Koizora! but i couldnt, stupid school internet, filter here filter there.. haih. anyway, do view it ! ;D

the reason why i searched for that picture is because.. early morning, when i was at school.. during homeroom i was glaring at the sky, and i saw the moon shining still up there. i think its so beautiful and magic that the moon is shining while its morning. probably to anybody else it doesnt give any impact but to me, its my favourite scene and feeling. :D a few minutes later. as i was wishing to the moon the same wish every morning. i saw a sky jet, leaving trails of white smoke as they blend in with the clouds. creating one streak of new cloud as it goes. reflexly reminded me of Koizora(Sky of Love) the movie. i was suddenly smiling so bright looking at it, as i remembered every scene of the movie. i was still and amazed i think i held my breath the whole time when i was looking at it fly in the sky :D :D :D and for reasons i dont know about, it got me feeling nervous and excited too, probably the whole idea that the show is only next week. probably.. i dont know. i felt as though my heart expanded like i can feel happy my whole life, happy-feeling-supplies. :P sigh.

Hey Scream With Me?- my song

i cant stop thinking
will you stop me from worrying
in my own world i keep on wishing
to be with who i was dreaming

so leave me be
do you see what you do to me
just being by my presence
left me out of sentence

i want you
hey scream with me
even just for a day with you
to be here

hey play me a part
you get me out of my fear
when youre near
i feel the beat of your heart
its telling me
to shine

my words in my mind
must i scream it everytime
it feels so real
no one knows how i feel
heaven on earth
living with honour
i write my self my own letters
just to tell myself to be better
girl survive day without seeing him
oh you can do it though the world dims

like in the boat ride
i toss all the coins in my pocket
wishing all my might
as my head singing sonnets
i wish for you to know
im not letting go

so hey
will you scream with me
will you play me the best melodies
with a song 'Love Me Please'
but for now
i kept my feelings to my Diary
telling how i really feel
every definition
a whole lot of situations
most of it is my time
spent with you.

Ugh

yeah this time its called ugh, wonder why? i dont know. its so irritating, i mean the feeling, you know its one of those moments when you'd like to just shout out how you feel but you just cant. eventhough you told a few people about it, still, it grew stronger, you get more curious in the end youre just killing yrself. time, would you just fast forward now? :)

Another End

its going to end soon, this feeling.. all those people that keep brighten up my low down weekends. what will the future bring for me? i could only wait and ..

Poem, English Homework

(teacher made us to do a poem, the kind to describe someone, which.. i dont think i ever practiced.. so i'll just give it a shot..)

She has dyed hair
tried piercings
go for wild party fares
and made icings

She is very bright as the sun will shine
Yet when it is night her heart dims
Her intelligence can make people smile
though when she's broken apart she's ripped at the seams

She has experienced through many things
That made her a beautiful person that she is
If ever i need help i'd ask her for anything
She for sure to be there for me, a friend and a big sis

With all the hand that she ever lend
Never once she asks anything in return
She only asked for me to be happy
Well thats Inka, the cheery cheer cheer person..











it sounds so corny. T.T

Love

was just wondering about a night wear i'll wear something like this :P

noyb

have you ever consider other people's feelings when you talk, sit, stand, scream, sing, dance, sleep or any of those factors?

secrets told are meant to be kept, if you think you cant hold onto it then dont listen, dont make other people's lives difficult just because you blurted out their personal interest, embarassing moments, people like you are most likely to be spammed.

you really need to get out there, observe and listen. life is more to all you think about, reality is much different than dreams, yet they exist side by side, however learning both of its meanings are truly what you need in life so that youre able to live with your dreams wide present as your life deprives you in, youre still safe for you have the birth of a dream in you.

i suggest you open your eyes, sit still for a moment and think about things you have done, and things you should be doing. after a day. think about what you did, the good or the bad, compare and then try to improve yourself to be a better person the next day. it should be always "what did i today for myself?" and not "what did others do for me?". instead of feeling "why should he/she make me feel this way?" its better to say "i know myself how i feel, i can change it however i want" so choose to be happy, not proud but complacent.

ugh! i feel like i wrote a boring essay. haha.

Someone

who knew there would come day i stand on my bed
jump sometimes, and just take my pillow suffocate myself and shout with all my heart

you know that feeling when you just dont know what to do, what got you in such a mess
a person youve never been before

you feel weird and losing your grip on things
people tend to come all around you and drown you with questions you suddenly just dont happen to have the right answer when all the while you knew so well the perfect answer for that particular question, any question too.

and til at some point you shout your song the ones that has been in your head only, for such a long time, its finally out from your head, but not yet for me though unfortunately, nope, nobody has the slightest idea how bad i want to shriek the notes, trebels out of me. well maybe some of them.

like right now i wish i could go to any peak of any mountain, and shout all i can, scream baby scream! til i lose my voice for a whole day, if still i cant, i might just stare at the blinding sun, and being a blind hottie for the day. am i crazy now? just shook your head will you, just be a liar for me.