Waitings Over

how many more lies can you keep in
how many more lips can you be sin in
how many more heart you want to break
how many more soul you want to take

lavish my starve this broken heart will not mend
every guardian angel that was beside me now will never descend
cause you were with me , eating me up
every inch of my body struggles for an answer
the words i've been longing to hear
you pronounce them not
you whisper them not
left me alone
with broken pieces
to my last bed.

stay, Hopeless

Unleash Thy Burden

butterflies wings

 open a thousand charm things

love me this way 

you'll be happy to say

 every words you may find

 in your heart they will define

every answer that u desire

i'll breath to you with a prayer

hold on to me

it will come true

the dreams that you've wished to be

will all come tumbling down by you

and  your best will unleash

by your own soul from my heart

all you got to do is love

and hope for the stars above

that you'll reach for them

even if you fall

you'll beat the best of them all

so read my writings

hear my singings

i'll present to you my best melodies

the roses will invite the bees

all oh the magical things will be by our side

every myth that hath abide

Shamed Miss Memory

she stumble by him
outside the loft
hurricane came so fast it seem
till i cant stand anymore
they were together
but i was left alone
sure i was born to be bitter
i am not the one you go crazy with on the telephone
but still at night i cry
every now and then
whenever i see your smile
i tried to hold one mountain of frust n sudden
and harmfully carved one smile on my face
but believe my words that can never be erased
every little thing that you do
still makes me cry over you
every prayer that i had whisper
you were still there holding on to my heart
the death bringing ending that i have wished to restart.

this is the beginning of the story
it was housed in my best memory
my heart jumped out of place
cause our lips were touching
every movement slows its pace
so we were mixing all the love thats becoming
true to my eyes
true to my soul
you are every breath in the air
your love for me nobody can compare
cross that sea for you
i'd do
fly in the thunder till you say i do
i'd do
just anything at this moment time of being
whatever song you want to hear i'd sing
as strong as this we have, our hearts
nothing could tear us apart
i will fight 300 men in spears
i will drown thousands of men in their own
just to be with you in your dear
i will never leave you alone

but why must u came back to me
with a broken heart for me to see
i lost my voice all suddenly
cause the first few words you mutter to me
were in every shapes of pain
i lost my way of life
now i live in strain
no more no less i could ever be healed and alive
you were the reason i felt this way
i am a fool to gave you such love
so endless fool i am in such dismay
for i will sit and lie all the same
cause i will never get up again
the deadly consequence of my hearts shame.

SIGH

Truth To the Base

Okay, i feel indecisive on what i should do next. my past life with guys i've known are all categoried as my mistakes and that i learnt from it. there were good memories but of course the nightmares are much worse and haunts me most of the time. i grew powerless towards my own heart. couldnt control it any better than i once were. how can i, i mean i've been putting my trust my all to these ppl and they end up breaking it but not appreciating it as it is. whatver has happened to me builds what i am now. its very hard for me now to trust people. i need alot of time to finally plant my trust in someone new. sometimes i think to myself, maybe i dont even need to trust anyone at all in the first place. but i had chose the opposite because my life went upside down as i realise to live and love is to trust. and second of all you need to be open to somebody who you love. i envied the people around me which relationships that are strong that nobody can break them apart. of course theyve got problems too well hey thats human nature.

before saying 'i love you' you really need to know what love is all about. you cant just splash the words on someone by which you never mean it. its not the feeling of you suddenly get excited by that special persons presence. its the feeling of you want to protect that someone from any circumstances. from you i dont see it. i dont feel it. because with me you shut down yourself. i dont want to know whats going in your head. i dont know how you feel about me. are you playing with me. are you with me just the sake of reputation 'i have a girlfriend now?' are you not serious with me? if you do of all of the above we should really go back to square one where we are just some friends. but if you dont and love me, please let me know, tell me how you feel, communicate with me. i am looking for someone to share my life with. this all might seem too early for you to know but i might as well be ready this time before i got my heartbreaks that i've been through again. if you cant handle this, if you are ever in doubts of being with me i suggest you to let me go.

Fake

i'm drowning in your love
my hands cant reach the air
you keep pounding my heart down
till it breaks to pieces everywhere

i had to pick them up one by one
it was broken by an angels son
so i just had to shut my lips
all the sorrow is for me alone to keep

i love you
do i now
should i now
i'm falling in too much dilemma
i love you
what does it means
is it my dreams
in control of my head
my hearts beginning to shed
so i keep on going faking this love

why must it be me
cant there be someone else whose ment to be
i cant love you enough as how much
you have given me, all your touch
means like a mountain falling on me
pressing me down down below the sea

i need to breath
me and you, its just a myth
if you really love me you should know
just let me go
i'm driving away
i know you dont want to say goodbye this way

but if you would just let me stop all my sins
someday i'll come back to you with a grin
with a whole heart for you to love
you can have my heart for yourself
no more waiting
no more heartbreaking
until that day.

Layers

i wake up every morning
do my usualties
took my tea every dawn breaking
cant seem to find the piece
of my shattered heart that was on the ground
everywhere upside down all around

but every footsteps that i left behind
i cant concluse it in my busy mind
why do i have to put on a dainty dress
when everything in my life is in a mess

All these layers and layers of my life
i might just have to walk with my feet bend
cause all this disasters are building up so called trend
i'd crawl underneath my shield
whenever i drive across your hill
cause everytime i pass through
my heartsbroken a million times for you
now i'm living with this knife
to sort out the layers in my life

heaven seem to be calling
but hell always comes whispering
left or right where should i go
heaven it is of course i know
but when i count back all my deeds
my number of sins are higher on top it beats

every breath that i take
the layers doubles the numbers just for the sake
to put me down lower than the floor
but still they keep bury me some more

Layers wont you go away
you keep filling tragedies in my yesterday
then what will you do to my future
i'm already in the sin track of adventure
i cant do no death to myself
cause even Death cant help me breathe
nothing could less my suffer
its back to dark life altogether

Players Diary

i wander the love street marching onwards
looking all over every corner searching for my edward
but along the way
i keep pausing my step on every broken door
heal their wound, make them okay
not realising that i took their heart and trash it on the floor

why did i do it
i am a murderer of their hearts
still i keep going on
killing every heart out there
till theres no more to spare

i need to stop their suffer
every inch of their bitter
are all my fault
i want to stay away lock me up in a vault

what is it about me that make them fall for
is it my stupid smile that they call beautiful
is it my harsh eyes that blinds them all sore
cuff my hearts away before all of them i will fool

let me end my own decision
if my life they want so much
they will have with one condition
i'm too tired to love all of them
so let my soul free
and my heart aside
and my memories among themselves they shall divide.

Rainbow Hearts

do you believe
a fairy exist
will you retrieve
if witches and wizards to you they persist
have you been through a night so warm
and a day so cool
nothing to you could harm
yet all you become was a lovefool
since he came into my life
that is how i feel
i feel that i could just survive
just through anything, any that appeal
its like a real make believe came true

your name keep appearing in my mind
so i throw out all the alphabets of it on a paper
your smile keep blushing me through and through
i'd never care cause all of this insane do's just makes my life better

i'm crazy, s'what they say
over ecstatic, i'd jump all around the love bay

roll over the floor
opening my hearts door
do whatever i'd still be in love
take me to the beach
wherever you can reach
i'd be together with you
so i hope you'd walk with me
forever just you and me
will never be apart
in my rainbow hearts

Noise

hustle descriptions
evil temptations
what am i suppose to do with life
i keep bragging about my look
surely know where to read my diets book
but God will punish me if i keep deny
i leave my phone in silent mode
hoping no one realise my secret load
where i keep all my perfect lies
mix up with every recipes that i despise
but there would just be somebody
the second of me and all thats scary
dig out my stories and commits a homicide

noise noise noise
cant you leave me alone
i've been wondering why you keep shaking my bone
see my pain
all the trouble the scam
curse the people whonever think about
and keep filling their lives selfish doubts
i'd never dare
to wake up and compare
cause i dont want to ring the bell
to the doom gates of hell

have you seen me shining before
i thought you knew youre done once and for more
get out of my sake
you keep building my mistake
which i've been killing to forget
that you were all i had

baby honey darling
i hope you'll stop singing
all the melody you once melted my heart
cause now i know you knocked me down hard
for i'll never get up anymore
see me blast
in your nightmares
i'll haunt you
deprive you
from sense and lovingness
i'll leave you with distress
for you no more bliss
for me eternal rest in peace

noise noise noise
you've been toned down
my heads done with all the frown
my lifesize teddy bear is giving me hugs
theres no more no nothing to be sighed about
all the devils in the grave they have descend
so here i am smiling at your stone
conclused with your death no more to your prone
oh i'll smile for myself till my end

Confession

there u came
mumbling the words all the same
i kept closing my ears
trying to chase away my fears
the word that i have been fighting to kill
was right in front of me still
i didnt believe the first time you said the three letter words
i knocked my head over again to analyse the verbs
is it true what you said
i kept thinking till i fall out of my bed
so i slap myself a little to prove i'm not dreaming
awake as i am so happy my heart was screaming
my feet wasnt touching the ground
i was jumping all around
my brother joined but could not keep up with my pace
i keep on going online just to see your pretty face
oh your smile that i love so much
i couldnt stop being thankful for God's touch
how He made you, create you in such a wonderful way
so i really wish in my heart for there will you stay
i began to wonder
should i just tell my suffer
how every minute,every second
your name was in my notebook, my head oh gosh theres no end
finally everything that i want i have found
it was you it was you all along

Say it Again

Thing about love, is I never saw it coming
You kinda crept up into me by surprise
And now there's a voice inside my heart that's got me wondering
Is this true? I wanna hear it one more time

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Get just a little louder
Say it again for me
Cause I love the way it feels when you are telling me that I'm the only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It's like the whole world starts to listen when you tell me you're in love
Say it again

The thing about you is you know just how to get me
You talk about us like there's no end in sight
The thing about me is that I really wanna let you open the door and walk into my life

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Get just a little louder
Say it again for me
Cause I love the way it feels when you are telling me that I'm the only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It's like the whole world starts to listen when you tell me you're in love

And it feels like it's the first time
That anybody's ever brought the sun without the rain
And never in my whole life
Have I heard words as beautiful as when you say my name

Say it again for me
Cause I love the way it feels when you are telling me that I'm the only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It's like the whole world starts to listen when you tell me you're in love

say it again

Yours

yes dear,
im yours so it appear
someday you'll be seeing
what note am i keeping
in my precious little pocket
stay there a tiny little midget
beating it up like a windchime
oh boy ur so mine
dont you know what your listening to
is my heart that was torn in two
but there you again
pick up a glue with no shame
you race to my heart and
placed all the right things up again
still you didnt realize
what you just emphasized
you came fixing my heart
in the end you become one of the important part
of it all
youre the air in my heart ball
without you i cant bounce
cant stand cant pronounce
those three lovely words
i'll scare the lovebirds
so finally i have to tell you anyway
ive fallen hard for you more than words can say

bottle it up

There'll be girls across the nation
That will eat this up babe
I know that it's your soul but could you bottle it up and
Get down to the heart of it,
No it's my heart you're shit out of your luck
Don't make me tell you again my love love love love.
Love love love love.

I am aiming to be somebody this somebody trusts
With her delicate soul
I don't claim to know much except soon as you start
To make room for the parts
That aren't you it gets harder to bloom in a garden of
Love love love love
Love Love love love

Only thing I ever could need, only one good thing
Worth trying to be and it's

Love
Love
Love
Love
I do it for Love
Love
Love
Love

We can understand the sentiment you're saying to us
Oh,
But sensible sells so could you kindly shut up
And get started
At keeping your part of the bargain aw please
Little darlin'
You're killing me sweetly with love love love love
Love love love love

Only thing I ever could need only one good thing
Worth trying to be

Love
Love
Love
Love
I do it for Love
Love
Love
Love

Started as a flicker meant to be a flame
Skin has gotten thicker but it burns the same
Still a baby in a cradle got to take my first fall
Baby's getting next to nowhere with her back
Against the wall.
You meant to make me happy make me sad.
Want to make it better better so bad.
But save your resolutions for your never new year
There is only one solution I can see here.

Love you're all I ever could need only one good thing
Worth trying to be and it's
Love