Weekend

what a weekend!
freaky friday i was needled 20 times, where would i be if none other than Uni Hospital. Found out that i was allergic to pretty lot of stuff that i usually count on and love. like soya bean!! and cats!! ugh! i was dehydrated in the morning and unable to go to school so yeah. the smart fella told me to go for allergy test. no wonder the plague occured. out of 20 chemicals, the only ones i'm not allergic to is like only four. i guess i am that damaged.
yeah and i sulked at mom for letting them poked needles in me. TWENTY of em. so she brought me to midvally and got some japanesee cream puffs! :D

Saturday
went for rantai to support on my brother. not that joyous but it was okay. and there was a cute photographer i set eyes on XD he took pictures of my bro's band. hee hee hee XD
then at night, went to curve for countdown, all the joy watching drunk people get trashy. seriously man, this what you call merdeka? the only thing i enjoyed was the fireworks, watching it with my friends. other than that, i think i ought to delete those files in my head.

love,
from the tired Nakatsu's wife,
Shichi/Hagu/Amirah/Yuuki/Riko Izawa/XD

Tsubarashi :)

thanks to qis i watched this! its so cute!
Absolute Boyfriend
this robot boyfriend who eventually developed a mind of its own all out of love towards Riko. i love i love i love i love!! Of course theres no such thing as a perfect person but if its a robot then its out of questions isnt it? Wakatteru yo! Oh and Nanba senpai was awesomely lipsmacking! fuhh. i watched em in two days nonstop. its addictive crunchyroll and one manga too. i guess im just so in love with it all.
and i cried watching the last episode. and my nose ran meters too. Tottemo tsubarashi ne. tottemo suki dai. honto desu !
and because of it, now i'm craving for cream puffs. Got to go now. Searching for cream puffs!!

Aishiteru
Anata mo?
=D

okaeri- Ayaka

Wonder Worrified

Theres this big grey cloud above my head

All those bed bugs buggers on my bed

Sure elders told me too see things ahead

But i just shudder the dissapointments

Hoping matters that will resist me

Life aint that simple i know

But everytime i recite this

You never hesitate to go

What do you think of me now?

Do you know me?

Perhaps not or maybe never

I am curious to what youre thinking

You wear a mask when youre with me

You never show me the real you

All you do is make people laugh some more

I would wonder in loneliness

What is there, in the chapters of your heart

Together, Near or far apart

I pray you open yourself

So i wont have to face the wasted conclusions

Guessing how you exactly feel

And finally, break the premises of my fears

Abhorence of admiration will take over me

With reckless left its body

To spend the next suspending imaginations

To know what life is all about

And yes

Fear has overcome me now,

so please come and wake me from this nightmare

Just like Prince rescued Sleeping Beauty

100 years i felt

this world of no further breathing

let me come to know you

let you free me

never for my heart to break again.

Break it Down

This curve in the line of my life

i can tell above the rest which i should strive

Pursuing the best in the street

Leave it all to the best can defeat

sometimes in the waters

there would be one that is better

Than pearls than water lights

Give it a glance they'll start a fight

They fight, all for love.

Atmosphere agrees to my lips

These words that came out

Though they cant stand for a bit.

New lines knowledged me about life

a few little steps to survive

a drop of things that conceive

amount of air i should breathe..

STOP!!

haha

i suddenly lost my inspiration. caught up with funny feelings. Like the one on my way home, that funny feeling on the train. i felt safe and touched! 0_o haha right right. okay. sorry talking to myself makes no harm isn it. so yeah. hols was good. it was draggy at first but just as i dont want it to end, hmm it gets better and i got pissed cause school was near. but then again, i thought my friends would be there. my only floats when im drowning. thank god for them. sigh. well then. rehearsals starts again for the next dansing thru broadway, omg ive grown flabby need to get toned. fats presence! go away! yeah and saturday spent the whole day with qis, watching wall E. very cute. though i only hope someone was there with me. but the person couldnt make it.. nvm. we end up giving away the tickets to a pair of bestfriends, yes strangers. And after movies,i found the deadlious DVD that i wanted so much! it got my adrenalins rushed just by seeing the title "Hana Yori Dango 2". BUT i wasnt so much happy for the number 2. wanted to purchase season 1 but there wasnt any. ive been searching for it in every mall i could find, now it seems just impossible to get. could only hope.

Yes then i went to a gig, my brother's band was in. So i broke my principle, and went in the pub-like cafe. You dont wanna ask what games they play. I was under my jacket the whole time. And i had to wait for quite sometime for my brother's turn, the band before him, theres this drummer, he wasnt hot, but he played hot! i couldnt take my eyes off him. Unfortunately, he's somewhat a snob so they say. Hopes flushed down the drain. Actually, i got plenty of hope now, since this Prime Minister -to-be turned up. He's so cute he doesnt know it. haha yeah. so there went my holiday ding dongs and what nots. All in all. i give my holiday rankin an A.

:)

Getting Bimbo

its 7 am now. i'm thinking of releasing all this massacre for a while. though it will come back soon but i guess i should enjoy a moment or two before continuum of it. hohhhhh.
what a deep cut through this tangy vein. probably this explains why the test of wanting to kill myself? and the days of sudden downs? and the days of shopping-not-so-fun anymore? omg, i was losing myself. i cant be who i am not. gotta be yourself right? so yeah. lets get this process of breathing correctly and adjust back my system with the mechanics.

dear blogger,
maybe you could just do me the atom little favor.. i need a proper vacation! get my nails done.. go for steam bath.. ummmm.. relaxing. read a novel by the seaside. get super spoiled.

the truth?
i dont know who i am anymore.. according to james morrison.. "
James Morrison Lyrics
Pieces Don't Fit Anymore Lyrics"

well hey ..
i dont know what about to write now. thanks for chosing to kill your time by reading this awful post. i love you for that. wink wink

What The Hell?

staring down the mischievous lane that i took.. what has it turned out to be? what has the consequence gave me.

a one hard knock on my face i can tell you that.

surprises..

i realised this alley was wrong. not to say not to the differ not that i would want to compare but.. i guess it was a simple mistake? rather, i doubt thats the way i'm feeling actually. i kept on twirling these kind of roads that wasnt meant for me. i kept on laughing with people who arent suppose to be friendly, but theyre very nice.

what crap did i just typed? omg you mustve think this woman's gone crazy no? not really she's just drowning by her own act. tired of explaining. i realised i didnt even did but i just avoided the term of explainations.. why? oh no more questions please. conclusion, its been the worse school break i went through. i need to work. i kept allowing distractions to rotten me up. theres gotta be a stop towards all this. no more of it. i cant live like this

whats actually bothering.. i cant seem to talk to anyone. i dont know why. i use to have alot of people i can talk too. people oh people. they change drastically.

felt like i cant count on anyone else. i think its because i depend too much on a person, that i didnt figure it was coming, that the person actually didnt understand me. how frustrating this situation is. i cant hold it

i am drowning

so this is how it feels huh. to have nobody to talk to. its not that i dont want to share. but i felt like my matter right now, anyone can know it if they just pay attention and get logic. i'm tired of explaining. 

and somehow i felt irritated by myself to just easily tell people to get out of his or her problems or fears or phobias, give them words they wanted to hear, gave advises, get them motivated.. but i just cant apply all those to myself. stupid weak person! yes gotta say, im just human with a heart and a brain who got a whole million chapters to learn referring the subject of life. 

truthfully, inside here ( my heart, soul mind) got a lil too much worries. dragging the queen off from her crown. 

i used to be so confident with what i write, but it seems that now is just so full of bladders.its sad to read back my old post, comparing the confidence that adhered me back then and now its like poosh! all gone. like i read back 'Pointless' and 'Take the Step'.. its kinda yeah how im feeling now.telling myself "Yes Siti, thats how right you were about yourself, and now youre not so sure anymore? What happened to you?" but oh. guess i just need time to get myself right back on track with my usualties all on my own.so they say we were born alone and will die alone so who cares about in between right..Gotta fight alone too missy so pucker up your guts and lets get this over with. but before that, lets breath first. How i miss the happy me. shikes.. Time to all it will erase

Step it Right

i wonder who you're loving now

i'm guessing we cant work things out

hello its me again

its three days now

since you left my dream

you know what they say 

you cant have the things you want

so you want it back

we're so far from where we were

-hello by schuyler-

goodbye my good days you are left as memories.. i hate to leave but i have to go. say what all about my dreams? its left behind.. its time to be logical. goodbye my fantasies, my 6 yrs old head. not turning back now, life's always forward right. goodbye inspirations on writing, poeting.. this blog wont be the same anymore. its time to turn the dice and let fate bring whats must. 

Escaping Dream

i carved your figure with my bare hands

with only a coal and a paper, Kaname sama,

u look so fragile.. but i didnt drew you that way,

its how you struck my heart with your blood

everyone stares at me as i gazed in my dream

i bit my lip every now and then

remembering the time you bit and drank me

the part of time that i was yours forever

i belong to you

i was slapped again and again

but never did i woke up

no i dont want to Oniisama..

i want you to drink me

and let you drain me

my blood will never has it end

the last drop

there wont be any

Pierce in my lips with those gentle fangs

feel me with those breaths

i am your air

with you theres no need for Worry

you can stop a war just by feeling it

tell me to do whatever you want

lock me up in your heart

my most pleasure to live in you

just dont ever turn your back from me again

dont escape from my eyes

as i wont want yours to mine

dont make me feel that way

that i was buried under

deeper than i already had been

every New Moon

you promised to tell me what you have been said

all over again

i will never forget it

but i just want to hear them

your cold wind by my ear

settles me the most

you are every drop of my blood

and you can have them in you

for any cause

dont resist me

as i know its mine that you had been

longing for

i am yours

In An Impossible Trigger

kaname senpai

oniisama..

watashi wa yuuki

anata yuuki

o ma e wa Kuran Yuuki

o ma e wa Kurosu Yuuki janai yo

Hontoni suki dai....

i'm in love with Vampire Knight

a vampire like him

a vampire he is

how much we share bloods in our veins

our bond

will be just like okasama and otosama ne..

my song

these are the times
i felt like ive left behind
look upon yourself
theres nothing to be shamed of

see the light in the sky
hope for the best of you and i

let me live now
i'll win over you somehow
leave whats left behind
i will get whats mine
crunching tree across the sea
heat of the joy above me
oh behind these story
tell me what do you see

get to the point
up to the join
you'll see through my eyes
every dust in my closet
living close to the sunset
there wont be any lies

adhere to me you will
wont break only until
this last life.

thinking a step ahead

just right now a girl walking by a dark alley and a limpsy looking stranger ..
what would happen?

just back then a mother was abusing the child for no reason
what would become to our future?

my child will stay with me' so they say
the next day the little child was beat to death
what happened to the promises?

i'll love you forever
the quote thats too popular among us
the next year
he left her in distress with 14 kids..

people..
this is common to everyone
yet everyone hates it
when will this stop?
starts with when people think back and accept all this
as not a common problem
act now
regret are your worse enemies

actions
speaks
louder

than words.

iCT

this is for myself since i didnt bring any paper in class..



soho user
cyber law
differences between proprietary & open source software
functions: linux mix excel, int exp, Avg anti vi
meaning: input output (lesson 34, 35)
pc assembly : expansion slot, RAM slot, CPU

Sinner

let it be known to the unknown
let it be a secret to lovers
what is number if it is alone
what is proud without the feelings of others

i have a secret to whisper
i have a noble who is a beggar
i have one heart and only one
i too have fallen for many sons

i am prohibited to love
yet i am married
i was cursed to die
though i am well as a sportsmen

i tell you i love you
every bright day
and every colds night
would you figure how much i meant it
just by a glimpse of the eye
take my sight
examine deeply
do you see the real me
stabbing you all over.

my heart is divided
longing for another soul
truce will never step in
hate is what i'm looking for

a beauty such as i
proudly to say
i am every same as every monsters
that take your hearts
and pocket fillings emptied
i was a shameful beggar
and now you'll be just as was i

beg me
go on
take your shameful footsteps
walk towards the dark
keep making the devils smile
for the most of hatred will fill me
hence you will know who i am

i love to see
pride
lust
revenge
and every seven sins
thats in my list

and my first wish when i was a child
is for a posession of Death God
for his notebook
to be mine
i'll place it in glass chamber
just like snow white's
though it will be black and dark
say if you touch
sudden death as an end

will i make amends
will i pray for forgiveness
what fool do you take me
i have sinned wide as the sea

to hell i shall be
proud to stand
even if theyll take me
as a guardian
to hell i shall be

Red Horn's Promise

whats grief to overcome the plated curiosity all over a face
as the air for a breath there wont be any to replace
unfortunately for you
there will be only one step and not for two

hear this melody
its singing to you
hear my voice mixing with dust of fairies
come come here or i'll come to you

yes take your step forwards
and never look back
in your mind will only be me
nothing to differ nothing will reflect

do this do that
i will tell you and you will act it
every do's will be rewarded now dont left it overspat
frankly above the rest over and beyond theres a reason and you should fear it

you miss a turn
there wont be a second chance
eventually to the burn
you will fall and never can defense

all you have to do
is take a drink or two
leave the rest to the most noble of me
pry over play pry never pray
in your deepest darkest heart and memory
adhered to it for endless stay

Downs

oh life, is it all just a game

all the girls battle on life for the fame

but i stepped back because i have always knew

i cant take another step forward without you

but you march on

never wonder how i'll fell when youre gone

call me on my cell

or cast me an attraction spell

it seems that i have failed to stop this tears

i've got my pocket full of beers

so hail me to you

dont say adieu

youre impossible to forget

yet youre hard to remember

you deserve a girl who will make you angry in the morning

but just so wonderful by dusk. you deserve a girl who'll say to you we're so rich we could just buy a jetplane of our own now but we're actually suffering with loans. you deserve a girl, a lady, a woman, a friend thats true to you and completes your most emptiness. though if you ever doubt that i'm not the one. i'll be happy to leave you and let you search for her. life is unfair. yet everything thats unfair happens for the most fair and just reason.