Sophie's Mind

. i dont understand life.. or do i? or am i just pretending that i dont?
i am stating that the phase im going through dont need to have boyfriend. strongly believe so, so that i dont want to be hurt, or to hurt someone i care about. thats superly common right now. and others will say thats bullshit. everybody needs special someone. another super common thing. this moment, i say, that i dont need this. teens dont need these. its a probable distraction. and while at it, planting the thoughts of no relationships, suddenly, a huge wave of lust and greed and pushers fall right on top of me. whispering to me everything that i'm against. negotiations.

and i get confused.

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the times of those days where i fall in 'love' so called. always end up trashy. and the rubbish is, i cant believe why i allowed my self into the dumpster. i showed myself the way even. and allowed myself fall to it twice or maybe more.
why do they do it? does it bring joy to them? or am i at fault. probably.
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when i found myself a friend. or two. some will say i'm a slut. hooking all over the place.

and when that happens, i feel lke laughing. whatever. he or she doesnt know whats really going on.
and part of me tells me to dont even talk to the opposite sex anymore to be on the safe side. now i feel like laughing to myself!
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so this is it. i'm avoiding this. no more of it. until who knows when.